Who we trust has a huge impact on our lives. This is why we should think carefully about the influence others have on us when we hang out with them. Without trust we become isolated and alone. Trusting God opens the door to a whole new kind of life.

We have no Control… without self-control.

Tony B. has gotten into making beats and has promised me a CD of some of his beats. I'll throw some of them on my webcast and try to do some free-styles with them when he gets them to me.

It is fun to help bridge a friendship between Maria B., Norma Z., and Olga. Joy is found in good company – I John 1:7. We hung out from 3:00pm to 6:30PM. Looked at Herews 3:12 & 13 in Spanish. And exchanged addresses to stay in better touch with eac other. We also just talked a lot about life together.

Wilburd Estrada lead b track at 66th elementary in the celebration of Black Los Angeles for Black History Month. Highlighting Biddy Mason and other significant black leaders in the history of Los Angeles. Boy-1 helped compose a rap that was presented along with dance by Wil’s class. Mr. Jingle’s 4rth grade class produced a play for the event on Biddy Masson’s life.

At the St. Francis center I got to talk to a guy who was coming out of the denial stage of his addiction to crack cocaine. I am dreaming with Dora Ramos to one day see established there a clinic that specializes in foot care and maybe a 12 step fellowship group.

Wednesday evening we road the "Rapid" Wilshire bus to Westwood. I got a couple magazines for my class on contemporary culture (Urb & Rolling Stone)… We got a bite to eat at Falafel King… the best cheap way to eat in Westwood. Rain latter chased us into another coffee shop called Boba world. I had the best mint tea with Boba in it that I have ever had.

This past Wednesday went with Jude to Koffea, a coffee shop near 6th & Berendo. I think this will become a new sober spot to hang out. We came back with Alberto and Laura this past Friday to watch the Lakers beat Portland. Cobi Bryant made 40 points that game. It would be a great place to hang and see games… talk… and play a good game of chess. You never feel any pressure to leave… and the atmosphere is conducive for conversation.

Yesterday I had an amazing happening after helping a little at the Saint Francis Center. 3 of the employees had a b-day...and they had hired "Mariachi Aguila Real" (323) 881-4858 to sing for the lunch break and mad a nice lunch for everyone with even a little flan. A real Mariachi Band... I was really moved by their singing "Via La Cruz". Being a Street poet and all I asked if they would play it again... and let me freestyle with them. They went with it... and We rocked a style I have never heard anywhere before. In it I bragged on how priveledged we are to be on a path of learning to love like Saint Francis... Like jesus loved... cause there is no greater reality than to have the love of God Burning in our own hearts. The passion and the connection was there... after being overlooked for the business cards. I was offered a handful.

Monday was about Helping pastor Juan feed the homeless at the First Nazarene Church near 3rd and Vermont. I will be doing this on the last Mon. of every month and on some other days as well. Then I went to get some of these new mini remote control cars with some money earned by the youth in my neighborhood. They had a blast driving them arround together. One problem though... some of them are working on the same frequency..so they can not be raced with each other without interfering with each other.
Then had a great time catching up with David Speakman.
The last part of the day I was a guest speaker in Judes Intro. to Urban Class. A great group of students.

Sunday was gifted with a computor that we lent out to Chris and Roxy. Had a great time hanging out with my brother and sister In-law, their 3 kids, and Chris and Roxy.

I am Preparing for a Refocussing Network conference next week. The plow of personal growth has come to my soul. Pray that I will become more wise in this journey of life.

Here are some ways I wish that we all would extend a more positive influence with those arround us:

*Hang out ... If you are not present then you won't be a dirrect influence
*Brag on Knowledge, Understanding, and Wisdom
*Cast Vision... Dream Dreams together
*Show and Tell
*Come and See
*Be a model and encourage others to, "Go and Do Likewise"
*Love More
*Listen More
*Reflect and Corrospond More
*More Gifts of Kindness
*More Prayer, InnerPeace, inspired words...
*More Awareness of God

What are the top 5 books that you have read? Mine are:
1. The Transforming Momment: a study of convictional knowledge by Dr. James Loder... I grieve his passing on and am greatful to all that I have learned from him.
2. Children and their Famlies in the Social Environment by James Garbarino
3. Space for God by Don Postema
4. Kagawa of Japan by Cyril J. Davies... Kagawa, Toyohiko 1888 -- 1960
Kagawa was a Social reformer and evangelist, born in Kobe, Japan. A convert to Christianity, he was educated at the Presbyterian College in Tokyo, and at Princeton Theological Seminary in the USA. Returning to Japan, he became an evangelist and social worker in the slums of Kobe. He was a leader in the Japanese labour movement, helping to found the Federation of Labour (1918) and the Farmer's Union (1921), and founded the Anti-War League (1928). After World War 2 he was a leader in the women's suffrage movement, and helped with the process of democratization. He wrote numerous books, including the autobiographical novel Before the Dawn (1920).
5. Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard

My best recent read isI like Nothing But A Thief: The street and Her Children.
by Danielle Speakman

In your face smooth talking trash
Your words are worse than the slave masters lash
Fools got style but nothing to say
The blind lead the blind anyway

I thought that love had heart -n- soul
If you understood love you'd become more whole
You replace love with the seeds of hatred
No trust, no peace, no generations to speak of

Know more than knowledge let wisdom guide you
The eyes that see will stand by you
Unconscious rappers repeat the lies -- they've been lied through
Quality of life starts with God inside you.

Wake up... you've been pumping up a dream world that has turned on to Elm Street's worst nightmare with no exit...
wake up!!!

Or you will die and take other fools with you in the end -- Intergenerational self-hatred with style sold to make millions…
Leaving millions to bleed with vain dreams. You don't even understand what's wrong with vanity... that is at the root of your greed and insanity...wake up!!!

I thought that love had a heart -n- soul
If you understood love you'd become more whole
You replace love with the seeds of hatred
No trust, no peace, no generations to speak of

Know more than knowledge let wisdom guide you
The eyes that see will stand by you
Unconscious rappers repeat the lies - they've been lied through
Quality of life starts with God inside of you.

Some have asked if I have found some groups that have a more positve message. Yes... and I am looking for more. KRSone in the hiphop scene... don't think that he is now "Christian" because of his last albumn Spiritual Minded. I do believe that he is open minded and
respectsmany traditions and thier roles in bringing strength to so many African American people. He is concerned about those who have a form of godliness but do not have the power to back up what they claim -- I am too. Then for the jr. high / Highschool gals... there is SupperChick.

Barry Taylor's class at Fuller has pushed me consider "Why Music Matters" and why we need to really pay attention to the range and depths of expressions coming from popular music. Some of us find a lot of styles of music hard to stomach. The edge maybe even feels toxic. Friends of mine recently have been sharing with me why they like NAS, System of the Down, and Stained. Some of the songs I have come to appreciate and "like" as well as see as insightful by these musicians because they are reflecting on realities that exsist -- Painful realities...

James Garbarino reflects in his book "Raising Children is a Socially Toxic Environment" reflects on how the environments that we have collectively shaped are really toxic for the healthy development of children. I would say that the sounds of emerging global youth cultures are expressing this very truth in terms that the adult world does not like to hear -- and should not ignore. We can not keep ignoring the real needs of developing children... this lack of intergenerational thinking needs to be reversed at the level of design. If some of my more "conservative" Church friends wonder why I am listening to what my friends in the hood are listening to... it is because they are resonnating with meaning from music that expresses their feelings... often their pain... to ignore their music is to in fact ignore them. I think God is listening too... and if we keep tuning out... their cries will have to just get more "loud" and more "desperate".

All Music emerges out of a context... Thank you Barry for pushing me on my thinking about this.

Chris and Roxy made the trip up to Escondido with us. I am grateful for their friendship. once someone has become family to me in my heart... they will always be family to me.

Yesterday I was a witness to Jude’s family’s gratitude for a “Tanta” / Aunt Gurdy and her being gifted with 80 years of life so far. We celebrated her 80th birthday. What was striking was the gratitude expressed. Those that have lived through world war II and saw us as humanity struggle to stay human know in a deep unspeakable way how easily all of what we have today can be taken for granted. I desire to remember to receive each day of my life as a gift. Then and only then can I live it to the fullest.

Ready

Resurrection is the only hope we have --
Up out of the ashes of this reality
Is the Eternal Embrace of God.

Invitation now to taste On this earth God’s love
Given to the fearless
Full of faith
People of God

Invitation now to taste On this earth God’s power
Given to the humble
That cry out
with their whole heart to God

In the Name of Jesus
Available to all
Is an extraordinary life
Hidden in the ordinary day to day.

Look at the claims of the ordinary saints…

Mother Theresa said,
“ I have a little Hitler inside of me –
that is why I pray so much”

Luther sang,
“Though this world with devils filled
Should threaten to undo us…”

Hudson Taylor taught,
“God’s work done God’s way will not lack God’s Supply”

Saint Francis’s claim to fame,
“I just want to live like one of God’s Sparrows”




Now I come to Preach…to Teach, to speak there is victory over these streets. Time for a God centered mind-set…
A life with out regrets
A life of trials yet full of peace
A life both in and above these streets

Come to the souls mountain top
Look who you are serving and stop if it is not the top
There is one and one only Christ the Lord King of Kings
Let go of serving lesser things

I want to tell you that heavenly angels have it good
Sparrows do to if you really overstood this…
You could drop your worries about death, unemployment, and belonging
A good resurrection would be your only longing.

The eternal kind of life can start today
Like Christ’s Disciple’s learn to pray
“Our Father….” And really mean every word you say…


Resurrection is the only hope we have --
Up out of the ashes of this reality
Is the Eternal Embrace of God.

Invitation now to taste On this earth God’s love
Given to the fearless
Full of faith
People of God

Invitation now to taste On this earth God’s power
Given to the humble
That cry out
with their whole heart to God

In the Name of Jesus
Available to all
Is an extraordinary life
Hidden in the ordinary day to day.

Now I come to Preach…to Teach, to speak there is victory over these streets. Time for a God centered mind-set…
A life with out regrets
A life of trials yet full of peace
A life both in and above these streets.

Today I remember Job, Job’s friends, and the Emmaus road in Luke 24… There are times in this world where everything we know falls apart. World views shatter until what can not be shaken remains. Since 2001 I have had a much more frequent reminder of the reality of death. A friend just emailed me today…to let me know of another’s friend’s loss. Dave, My heart bleeds with yours. I have been true to what you have taught me –
I Tim. 4:16. None of us can avoid the shadow of death. We can however find that there is a source of strength to walk through it.

Rei I will remember that you have challenged me once again to another game of chess… you are more than my equal in this game… you just have not realized it yet ; ) …

Last night Jude and I had the great privelege celebrating both Valentines Day and Rei and Sandra’s 2nd wedding anniversary together. I really appreciate their friendship. Frank honest conversation about life mixed with dreams of how we are going to make our own little changes in this world. Zip is a new spot on our social maps… for dinner (a little pricy but worth it), coffee drinks, and deserts… and just walking distance from where Rei and Sandra live.

Started my morning reflections with a great devotional book: Space for God. Was reminded again: “ ‘Guard your heart more than any treasure, for it is the source of all life’ (Proverbs 4:23, NEB)’. Take care to make space there for God so that gradually prayer will pass from being one activity, duty, gesture among many to an attitude of your whole existence – centered in God”. (Pg.93) Then I enjoyed a few more reflections by Oscar Romero from a book gifted tome by Dora Ramos called: “The Violence of Love”. Was challenged again to appropriate sacrifices by the book “Nothing but a Thief: The Street and her Children” by Danielle Speakman. What do you use to feed your soul and the vision that burns within it… I’ll get back to my reading of Acts latter…Now to continue in prayer through out this day.

This Am was about helping a friend learn how to drive stick shift. (A big shout out to Miriam who is planning to by our Stanza after the lessons are done.) There is a real joy in the journey of learning. Most real learning takes years... but some learning like how to use a toll is both empowering and takes only a few hours to grow through. Learning how to walk is worth all the falling down involved... why we don't want to learn more??? is a perspective issue. I want to push my perspective in this...

In your face smooth talking trash
your words are worse than the slave masters lash
fools got style but nothing to say
the blind lead the blind anyway

I thought that love had heart -n- soul
If you understood love you'd become more whole
You replace love with the seeds of hatred
no trust, no peace, no generations to speak of

know more than knowledge let wisdom guide you
the eyes that see will stand by you
unconscious rappers repeat the lies -- they've been lied through
quaility of life starts with God inside you.

Wake up... you've been pumping up a dream world that has turned on to Elm Street's worst nightmare with no exit...wake up
or you will die and take other fools with you in the end -- intergenerational self-hatred with style sold to make millions
and leave millions to bleed with vain dreams. You don't even understand what's wrong with the vanity... that is at the root of your insanity...wake up!!!

I thought that love had a heart -n- soul
If you understood love you'd become more whole
You replace love with the seeds of hatred
no trust, no peace, no generations to speak of

know more than knowledge let wisdom guide you
the eyes that see will stand by you
unconscious rappers repeat the lies - they've been lied through
quaility of life starts with God inside of you.

JAW Feestyle on Line

Yesterday I had a grand time playing Janet Krist on Kill radio. and romantically recalling how she was a favorite of mine during the year I fell in love with Jude... we will have 8 years married come Aprill 22. I am glad for these years together and the time I waited for the right person. After that I had a hip hop mix going that was none of this stupid blingbling, slap an ass, non-sense when we need to raise a generation of youth able to thrive... not just surivive.

We will be firm in defending our rights --
But with a great love in our hearts,
because when we defend ourselves with love
we are also seeking sinner's conversion.
That is the Christian's vengeance.

June 19, 1977
By Oscar Romero, "The Violence of Love"

Love is the only power on earth that can turn
an enemy into a friend.

Martin Luther King

Mother Teresa said,
It is not so important to do great things
rather it is important to do small things
with great love [Paraphased]

"Life is a bowl of Cheerios
because of the pits in the middle"

Kim Jung

Friday am I have a Planning meeting for InnerChange. Friday eve. we had a great LA ST. Prod. Meeting over at Boy's house: Boy, Wil, Werner, Rei, and JAW were present. It look like we will have an art show at Fuller early april. More details will come out when I get to them.

Thursday Morning InnerChange has a community breakfast and Bible study together. Currently we are working our way through the book of Acts. It is interesting the contoversy that the early church stirred. Wherever Paul goes there seems to be a riot about to follow him. Truth is for peace...but not for a false peace.

Barry taught about the increasing influence of hip hop in our world. Access to the process of making music from the grass roots up from the streets kind of music. I still have boy to thank about not giving up completely on the style. I would never of had the pleasure of listening to KRS One, Mystic, Blackalicious, or Nas. I found Tobby Mac, and Red Cloud on my own. I still want to keep Love in the center of the Mix. I respect when a song is solid in it's Artistry and meaning... sometimes an artist can be sick...yet write a good song... in any case we need to take a second listen to what people are singing and saying... what is going on with people's souls???

Jude and I usually take Wed. night out together. We had a great meal over at a restaurant... bought some of the best chocolates I have ever had to share share for Valentine's day... and then rented the movie, Monsoon Wedding Wow what a movie... It is a great window into one slice of India's culture. It also raises the question of what does it mean to have, value, and protect intimacy and family. It has multiple stories within stories... a good window into the struggle to find intimacy and build trust ... as well as the struggle that comes from trust being violated. I would highly recomend this movie.

Wed. was at first a day of errands. Jude and I bought a vacumn cleaner. It is an obvious reminder that there is tremendous power in having the right tool for the right job. Simplicity sometimes means having the right tool.

Reality sits somewhere between the two extremes of this poem... I have been thinking a lot about family and the power of love flowing through a soul... how it touches and shapes lives... the phrase "mommy loves me" when used as a subliminal message with mentally ill patients often leads to a better state of mind... how much more important is a mother's actual love... and a father's love as well... A loving friend can often be more healing than a shrink... we need to wrestle with the intergenerational realities that are:

Obvious

Intergenerational thinking

Think
Generations
Mommy loves me
Daddy loves me
Mommy and Daddy love each other
Mommy and Daddy love their Mommy and Daddy
And their brothers and sisters too…
We are Family

Good communication
We Understand each other
We belong to each other
We know each other
We have a heritage to pass on…
We are Family

Intergenerational thinking
Obvious?

Obvious

Intergenerational thinking

Think
Generations
Mommy hates me
Daddy hates me
Mommy and Daddy hate each other
Mommy and Daddy hate their Mommy and Daddy
And their brothers and sisters too…
We are Family

Bad communication
We Don’t Understand each other
We Don’t belong to each other
We Don’t know each other
We have a heritage to pass on…
We are Family

Intergenerational thinking
Obvious?
By JAW 2003

Every other Tues. LA InnerChange has a community life dinner together. Today we got together and talked about life... so much so that we didn't have time to get to the scheduled topic for this evening. It is so good to be hanging out with this group of people. My key thought for the evening is that even in dehumanizing situations... the capacity to discover ways to show kindness helps us remain human. "If your enemy is hungry, feed them... if they are thirsty give them something to drink..."

The jr. high guys want to play these card games that are out... it is all the rage... I want to find a way to say yes sometimes to this and then branch out to other things as well. For some of them it is their only motivation to learn how to read. They also asked... when are we going to have a yard sale again. It would be cool if on a certain Saturday of every month people from our neighborhood came out and had a yard sale together. This could really help the community building that need to happen in our neighborhood. God grant me wisdom about the timing of things and direction on these things.

Sometimes Life flows better when we get to hang out and watch. We catch up with our neighbors when we are "doing nothing but hanging out". I like the appartment that Jude and I have. It is a great hanging spot. The fire escape is right outside our front door. Today Kim, Boy1, and I hung together. We watched one neighbor being greedy by parking to save several other paking spaces. Boy1 gave him some words for his rudeness. We waved hi to friends. Carmen, Lupita, and Glen dropped by and I was able to show them where Heather lives as well. Ulysses droped by before going to work at the Mocha art Museum. I was able to tell Kim a little who's who in the neighborhood... and say a prayer under my breathe for each of the people that I got to see. A big shout out to Kim and Boy1... great time hanging out today!

I am at Kill Radio... streaming Daniel Amos's old rececord Doppleganger. I am feeling like my health is back. It is hard to maintain mometum on all the threads of life and opportunities. LA St. Prod. is floating with life needing to be focussed on each of our own growth needs. The jr. high in our hood have endless energy and need more input than the adults can give... we could really use a local youth center. I am alot better at the micro. than the macro. God knows...as i seek my daily wisdom and daily bread.

What is the good life?

The quality and content of our lives is built on
the content and quality of our relationships
With God, ourselves, one another and our environment.

Because of this, we need to learn to love people and use things,
Rather than loving things and using people.

Sat. Jude and I gave the second half of her class (and friends) a tour of downtown LA.

When we got back I brought the ice cream cake home to help celebrate Heather’s birthday.

In the evening Norma Z. came over and had dinner with us. We decided together to go and visit our friends, the Barajas family… we ended up running into Maria B. on her way to her Daughter’s house. We had a great time talking with them.

Chris & Roxy joined Jude & I this Friday evening at the West Side Vineyard’s first monthly couple’s café and workshop. We got some helpful reminders about marriage relationships. All relationships need times of nurture… we should never take this for granted. This will probably become a regular part of our life journey together.

Friday morning we had our InnerChange planning meeting. Working on vision for the new season that we are in. Then I had an extended Quiet time… our team is studying the book of Acts together. Then I started an important letter to Willie Hartsfield. He would love any encouragement. He’s got a year and three months before he’s scheduled to be released from prison. Anyone inspired to encourage Willie could write him at:

Willie Hartsfield, D08585
450-2-60 low
PO. Box #9
Avenal, CA. 93204

He has recently been reading the books written by Phillip Yancey… Willie finds him to be a very insightful author. Our friendship goes back to my summer internship with InnerChange in 1993.

The Student Arts Council may want LA St. Prod. to display an art show at Fuller Seminary’s Art week.

I had a hard time focusing on my work. In Barry Taylor’s class we got to see the movie, “Standing in the Shadow of Motown”. This is a great documentary on the music of Motown and the musicians behind it.

Parking is getting crazy in our neighborhood. There is not enough parking to go around on the streets these days. I left my car to just take my stuff in and almost got a ticket… so much for not wanting to carry a lot of stuff several blocks. I am glad that the parking police (think extra tax revenue for the city) was gracious and understanding this time.

On Thursday I went to Fuller early to study. Salvador was out with the younger guys playing football… a lot of the younger guys in the neighborhood look up to him. It is always good to see the young people out having a good time.

Burned several copies of my radio shows and gave them out … mostly to class… fun to extend myself to others in this way. I wonder what Danielle Speakman thought of her Book, “Nothing But A Thief”, being read on my web based radio show between cuts of Daniel Amos’s Album “Alarma”??? I’ll find out next Tues.