I am currently at Luna Tierra Sol. Free Internet use for 15 min. adds a lot to this already alternative everything coffee house. I am going to meet Sue here for a follow up meeting to our last conversation... then go out to Laguna to a friends house for my day off which is usually on Wed.

Today I shared with a friend who might be the first person to help fund my dream for a post card company that will encourage the Explicitly Christ Centered reflections currently needed in our culture that explores: "The content and quality of our lives is built on the content and quality of our relationships with God, ourselves, one another and the environment". Now to begin with the steps needed to get this rolling.

Well I am at Kill Radio. I am playing Dr. James Loder (content to feed the soul) and then U2's album The Unforgetable Fire. I need to review What I have learned from Dr. Loder who has passed on from this life. To then embrace what of him I am called to embody.

Sometimes there is a joy to listening to an album all the way through. Today I am spinning The Grits and Barry Taylor. I like the verbal thickness of The Grits. I like Barry's lyrics and tight hooks. Both examine the spiritual journey of our souls.

Roxy has just graduted from Cal State LA and yesterdy we celebrated with family and friends this big step. She did it with class and humility... not forgetting where she came from and pushing for excelence all the way (Graduating with honors in the top 3% of her class). What matters most to me is that she has held on to her capacity to love and care for the children that she is going to work with in the LA school system. I am glad to have her and Chris as friends and partners in this journey called "life" and to have been able to encourage fatih and courage along the way. May God be praised throughout the generations -- Amen!!! (Ephessians 3:14-21).

Joking sometimes has the danger of killing all other conversation if the purpose of communication in a group becomes the immeadiate pleasure of a laugh, the demonstration of wit, or the social pushing for being the top dog and the center of attention. I am curious about our fear of silence... underneath that fear may be that we might not have anything to say. How do we encourage both ourselves and others not to become shallow and at the same time not becoming a kill joy?

Friday
I hung out with Chris A. tonight. We watched the Japanese animation movie Spirited Away and then played some video games for old time sake. The movie is striking because of it's very non-western world view. It is so unlike many hollywood scripts and the animation is incredible.

Saturday
Yard Sale Fund Raiser for LA Street Productions with Wilburd Estrada and family. We raised over $140.00 .

Corrie came to spend the weekend with us to explore the possibility of doing an internship with us in starting this fall.

Went to the VanEngens for dinner and met with them and other friends Mary and Mark, Hal and Nancy.

Sunday

Had breakfast with Jude and Corrie. Talked for about 3 hours.

Two weeks this past Thursday

The LA InnerChange Team Met with Alberto & Clelia. They want to do a church plant in this area and are in a process of getting to know the neighborhood better. Boy and Laura showed up and represented the neighborhood well. At the end Alberto and Clelia asked if we would consider being part of their church planting council.

Thursday
Team breakfast followed by acts devotions where we discussed the first part of the story of Paul getting ship wrecked.

Paul and I went to play racket ball. This is a new healthy pattern for us that I hope to continue through the summer. This means joining the YMCA.

We then came up for the following prayer request for InnerChange LA:

LA INNERCHANGE PRAYER REQUESTS

For more InnerChange workers globally and the Los
Angeles team's historical role in nurturing vision,
training, and launching workers.

For culturally relevant churches for the 1.5
generation (bicultural immigrants).

For the young adults who are emerging as leaders for
the kingdom - for their character development and
ministry skills.

For community development efforts - especially
Comunidad Cambria and LA Street Productions - that
participants overcome their fears and grow in faith,
moving from guardedness to blessing.

For our visioning process - which includes the
possibility of a youth center.

For the people and resources we need to accomplish
God's purposes.

The Source of All Love
Without the love of our parents, sisters, brothers, spouses, lovers, and friends, we cannot live. Without love we die. Still, for many people this love comes in a very broken and limited way. It can be tainted by power plays, jealousy, resentment, vindictiveness, and even abuse. No human love is the perfect love our hearts desire, and sometimes human love is so imperfect that we can hardly recognise it as love.
In order not to be destroyed by the wounds inflicted by that imperfect human love, we must trust that the source of all love is God's unlimited, unconditional, perfect love, and that this love is not far away from us but is the gift of God's Spirit dwelling within us.
by Henri Nouwen

Today I started reading A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss by Jerry Sittser. The reality of loss, mortality, and death has sunk deep into my soul. There is a call within my soul to grow in my emotional and attitudinal openess and honesty. To be able to speak in the categories of truth is to be able to talk freely and in depth about: life and death, pleasure and pain, hope and despair, evil and resurection... The path of wisdom does not close it's eyes to sorrow nor does it let go of the grattitude that produces joy.

Space is needed to recognize why my soul has needed to learn to walk through sorrow differently. To account for my own sense of losses is in no way to deminish anyone elses joy, nor in any way to compare my loses to others... rather it is to feel... for me to learn to be more human and to offer this human soul to God.

A roll call of friends and losses that I need to acknowledge:

Jose Barajas

My Grandmother: Mrs. Florence Head

Dr. James Loder

Mrs. Sanchez

Carol P.

Jorge E. (Rez's Brother)

Babara Buckland

As you all can tell I write in inspired spurts. I am coming out of a dry spell. There are reasons for the desert times in our lives. For me it is the way God gets my attention when I am not listening to some core reality. Denial is not a river in Egypt or anywhere else for that matter. The desert craves rain and finally in the end nothing else matters. I am taking a Spiritual retreat day... ever so long over due... Perspective is part of my work... I am overdue in taking the time to have, maintain and press for depth of perspective... Love you all...

I have had a frustrating time consistantly connecting with some of the jr. high youth in my neighborhood. I may have discovered a new window of opportunity. Food, friendship and sharing... roots to modeling hospitality... well the last couple of weeks we have gotten together to cook food and share it with our friends, neighbors and family. It is important to have abundance... to have the opportunity to feel how it feels to be able to give rather than to take. To their surprise this is more fun than watching a movie or playing with yugioh cards... and other usual past times. Yesterday one youth was dreaming what it might be like for us to have our own pizza company... work with immeadiate tangible results is also a pluss... moms seem to be happy to have their youth come home happy and not hungry for a change... another youth was musing, "why don't we do this instead of ordering pizza out"... I now have a concrete way for peple to come and volunteer for an evening... come and teach us how to cook your favorite food... is their a Lasagna out there... we are currently a small enough group that we could come to you... and so it goes...

Today I decided to play music from people that I know and count as friends. Prayer does something unique to friendships accross time and space. It ignites a unique kind of love in the heart. I carry a love for those with a creative soul because we live in a world that would homginize and package everything in reality for the consummer market. It is not easy to transcend market forces... in some way all of these artists are trying to do that
1. Track 08 9:10 Wayne Lytle


2. A Thousand Faces 5:48 Beth Meres Tree

3. It is Good 4:47 Beth Meres Tree

*. Larea Screen -- "dot Com + more"

4. Chris Key And Friends 8:50

5. He Don't Mind 4:00 Barry Taylor Love Songs for Underdogs

6. Everytime 4:44 Barry Taylor Love Songs for Underdogs

7. Responsibility 6:42 Ruth Naiomi Floyd Walk and Not Be Faint

8. Path of Life 4:47 Ruth Naomi Floyd With New Eyes

9. Stand to the Glory 3:49 Ruth Naomi Floyd With New Eyes

10. Track 12 4:27 Twisted Region

11. God Nos Llama 3:51 Zehnder Breathing

12. Jesus became a Renegade 4:46 Zehnder Breathing

13. All My Heart 4:28 Zehnder Breathing

14. Living in the Land of Palm Trees 3:26 Zehnder A Broken Train of Thought

15. Snapoe beats#6 3:12