Today I started reading A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss by Jerry Sittser. The reality of loss, mortality, and death has sunk deep into my soul. There is a call within my soul to grow in my emotional and attitudinal openess and honesty. To be able to speak in the categories of truth is to be able to talk freely and in depth about: life and death, pleasure and pain, hope and despair, evil and resurection... The path of wisdom does not close it's eyes to sorrow nor does it let go of the grattitude that produces joy.

Space is needed to recognize why my soul has needed to learn to walk through sorrow differently. To account for my own sense of losses is in no way to deminish anyone elses joy, nor in any way to compare my loses to others... rather it is to feel... for me to learn to be more human and to offer this human soul to God.

A roll call of friends and losses that I need to acknowledge:

Jose Barajas

My Grandmother: Mrs. Florence Head

Dr. James Loder

Mrs. Sanchez

Carol P.

Jorge E. (Rez's Brother)

Babara Buckland