Homework due today for my Spirituality Class at Fuller

John Tiersma Watson Jaw1 “Rule of Life” 1/21/04
SP 508 Spiritual Disciplines

I was at first surprised about how difficult this exercise is for me. To begin I had to come to terms with why this was so. It is forcing me to realize that I have been avoiding some key disciplines that would force me to look at the pain in my heart. Upon reflection I found it interesting in the chart by Benedict Groeschel that you handed out in class that pain plays an important role in spiritual development. “Even Jesus learned obedience by what he suffered”. To write this I had to get back in touch with my pain.

Why I ache inside is easy enough to point at. Starting back in July of 2001 a friend of ours, Jose Barajas, was gunned down in our neighborhood. He was 10 weeks from graduating from Collins College of art and design. He was one of the founding members of an artist guild I help start called LA Street Productions. This event triggered some issues inside of me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I still on and off have trouble with the kind of concentration necessary for reading. I have overcome most of the struggle I was having about writing through starting an online journal :)
Since July of 2001 I have known over 20 other people who have died. Some have died suddenly, others from diseases, and a few from old age. The death since Jose’s passing that I struggle the most with is the sudden death of my friend and mentor Dr. James Loder. It is also still strange to me that my grandmother’s death about a year ago has been a large source of grace for me. I count myself fortunate to be part of an interdenominational missionary order among the poor called InnerChange:. Without this Spiritual Fellowship, and the support they have given me, I would be much worse off than I am now.

I have up to this point preferred the active work of mission to the exploring of the devotional life. (Even in prayer I have preferred intercession more than meditation or listening prayer.) Thankfully, others who have seen my need to root my soul in God, continue to encourage me surround me. It is because of their encouragement, in part, that I am taking this class at Fuller on Spiritual Disciplines.

I have also witnessed how my suffering has made it easier to understand many of my neighbors and the pain in their personal stories. I am grateful to be part of an intentional community that is not a stranger to suffering and loss, but rather we are a community of faith that makes friendship and solidarity with the poor a priority (Ecclesiastes 4, Isaiah 58, Matthew 25).

Here is my current rule of life. It is striking to me that I have never bothered to write it down until now.

I. Frequently
A prayer of the heart. This is a modified version of the “Jesus Prayer” taught to me by Mrs. Arlene Loder. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on me a sinner. Father I ask for Strength… Jesus I ask for your heart… Holy Spirit I ask for Power and Inspiration….”
To often quote and reflect on the fact that, “The quality and content of our lives is built on the quality and content of our relationships with God, ourselves, one another, and our environments”(a jaw1 proverb).
Reflecting on particular passages of scripture that I believe God has called me to make central to my life: II Peter 1:3-11, Isaiah 58, Ephesians 3:14-2.

II. Daily
Walking 1 or more miles a day (First Opportunity of the morning)
Listening to the Bible on CD About 5 Chapters a day . (Sometimes in my CD player while I walk) I have learned that I am an oral learner. I am joining a group in my church that has covenanted together to read the whole Bible this year.
Journaling & Prayer about the highs and lows of a given day or days. The forms here will vary (see weekly)
Spiritual Reading in Luke – this is a Lectio reading that is done by each member of the LA InnerChange team whenever we have first year apprentices. This I will often do at the end of the day.
Praying over the next calendar day noting anything that needs attention.
Sleep Mon.-Thurs. (in bed by 10:30 and lights out by 11:00). This is important to counteract my tendency to slip into a hyper-vigilant way of being that is connected to PTSD.

II. Weekly
Tuesday, InnerChange Intercessory prayer 8:00-9:00 AM
Wednesday, Class for continuing study. 6:30-9:00 PM
Thursday, Community Breakfast & Luke devotions – a community Lectio Divina reading covering the part of Luke we read throughout the week. 8:00-10:15 AM
Sunday, Worship once or twice depending on whether I bring a friend from the neighborhood to church with me for one of these services.
Journaling on line “Blogging” at least weekly www.jawpoetry.blogspot.com
Journaling in a private journal
Journaling in a public scrapbook, which includes the scraps that I have collected that week that I want to keep.
Guided prayer or a Communion service with my current preference being an Online prayer guide.

III. Monthly
Meeting with a mentor
Visiting a Church in the Larger LA Area
“Holy Wandering”, or Pilgrimage

IV. Quarterly
Retreats for prayer, study and reflection

V. As Needed
Creating and/or paying attention to Poetry, Collage, Art, Street Art (especially Graffiti Art)/Folk Art/Outsider Art/performance Art and Photography

End Notes: Simply assessing where I currently stand has been a good exercise for me. The Items in italics I am going to pay special attention to during the class. My need to press more inward is not yet reflected in this document except that I will schedule a retreat this quarter and use some of the retreat time to reflect on this fact. Scheduling in time for study, hospitality, and celebration is also missing and finding ways to plan ahead may help in making sure that these vital realities are not neglected. I have used as an excuse up to this point that I have to stay flexible and available to those in my neighborhood who are not as time oriented as I am. In fact I have become the most event-oriented person in our Missional community. How I set time aside for the items that are not a daily routine is another area of needed growth.