Jaw1LA

I am committed to sharing my life with a network of young people in Los Angeles. First they asked me to join MySpace (which I hardly use any more). Then they asked me to join Facebook. Then some of them asked me to consider joining Twitter or YouTube. I have decided against twitter because it would rob me of the need for silent spaces... once on twitter and connected with a phone one can report any small fragment of thought at any time. This is too intrusive for me to do right now. Now that I have a MacPro. I can both do the reflections & interviews that I want to do.

Help me by giving me feedback whenever you are moved to do so...

And thanks for joining me on this journey.

Our Christmas News Letter. Please note Prayer requests.

Dear Friends, December 09

“Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
To give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.”
Luke 1:78-79, from Zechariah’s song

This year marks Jude’s 20th Christmas here in the Westlake/Pico Union neighborhood of LA. For John, it has been 15 years. Each December, during advent, we have pondered what it means to wait in hope and expectation for the in-breaking of our Lord into human history, into our lives, into this neighborhood. Each Christmas we remember that the light has dawned, and will break through the darkness. What a joy it has been and continues to be to remember anew that the Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood – our neighborhood and yours too.

This 20th year marks a transition for the LA team and also for Jude’s role in InnerChange. Jude has (finally!) been released from the role of leading the team. She will be moving into a new role in staff formation within InnerChange. She is hopeful that her new role will allow her more room to breathe and pursue the things that matter most to her in this season of her life. John continues to lead the team, but alongside Alastair, who came through a stem cell transplant for lymphoma this past year and is now doing well.
Meanwhile, John continues to enjoy his role encouraging young people in micro-enterprise and artistic endeavors. We both truly enjoy mentoring young people, investing in the next generation of leaders.

Recently I (Jude) had lunch with a young mother who was in kindergarten when our team first moved into the Cambria apartments. She shared that she had been wanting to see me and found me on facebook. She wanted to say thanks to our team for being there for her when she was growing up. She is working and doing well in raising her son. She thanked us for showing her a different way to live than the chaos she knew in her own home. She also asked if I knew of a church where she could continue to grow. What good news that New City Church will be a good place for her to be and belong.

One other major life transition this year was the death of John’s dad in July. We are still processing how this loss impacts us, and his family.

Prayer requests:

• • For Chris Albisurez as he travels to Urbana mission conference, to lead a workshop with John Hayes on using art in ministry with the poor. Pray for safety, protection and blessing for Chris, and that many lives would be impacted.
• • For the network of young adults who are struggling to move forward with their life goals due to economic realities in our city, and struggles within their own families.
• • Pray for our team’s vision as we pioneer a new neighborhood and seek to continue a legacy of effective ministry in our context, as well as preparing missionaries to serve throughout the world.

Thank you to all of you who have journeyed with us, supported us, and believed in us for all or part of these years. We would love to hear from you.

Peace and Joy,
John and Jude Tiersma Watson
InnerChange LA
Box 17367 Los Angeles, CA 90017

John’s Blog: www.jawpoetry.blogspot.com

(For donations, http://www.crmleaders.org/support/support-staff
Or call (800)777-6658)

To find John on Facebook: use his yahoo email: jawpoetry@yahoo.com (I check this email less than 2 times a month).

Two New Links

I have added two new Links to my Blog, My Friend EVE and her Website: EarthCaringArt.com and my friend and companion in ministry Catherine's Weekly Collum called: Back Alleys By Candle Light.

Just wanted to share them with you...

Cook it, Bag it, Ship it... Good Coffee for a Good Cause.

Some of us are former meth cooks, some of us are former gang members, and some of us are young pastors. And some are a mix! All of us have been involved in the Bible studies with Bob, Chris, Ryan and pastors from Tierra Nueva at the Skagit County Jail in Washington State. Many of us get out, and due to our criminal histories, our huge debts in the system and with collectors, with former using buddies and gang homies around us, starting a new life “on the outs” can be almost impossible at times. Most guys stay in the “underground” life, make money on the streets, and only find a church where we feel comfortable once we’re back in the jail Bible studies.

Jail Bible Study

But a few years ago...



If you are looking for a unique Christmas gift that does a lot of good for all that are involved... Let me recomend this for any Coffee Lovers in your networks...

I got to know these folks while on Sabbatical... They are street level legit and sold out to God...

Travels down Memory Lane: Rez Band

I am preparing to share my life story with my team mates. I am remembering today how wonderfully influential was some music that came out of the "Jesus" Movement. The Band Rez Band and thier community Jesus People USA has fueled my journey with hope and vision. Rather than press into a potentially destructive lifestyle in my teens... I am glad for the grace that allowed me to become a "Jesus Freak".

I have not turned back... and the adventure has just gotten more rich and more full of grace and wonder. My tastes in music have gotten broader and have changed. My love for God is now fueled by a deep gratitude... all of what is good in my life... I see the hand of God in it... all I can do is Thank God for his love and faithfulness.

I guess this response is why God kept on telling Isreal to "Remember all that the Lord Thy God has done for you."

I Am Second

Here I have found a great resource in simply people telling their stories...
about putting God first and being OK with being "second".

A great relief from a culture that constantly pushes us to be Number one.

Thanks to Fin who turned me on to this...

Return to the basics

I am glad to finally be back into a mode and mentality where I can begin again. Here I will begin again to share what really matters to me.

Communication and time set aside for that is part of it.

I am currently on vacation. Much needed and glad for it...
I am at peace with my father's passing...

I am anxious about my own health and body image. Exercise will be a new daily priority.

I am very aware that I am now an elder in a number of communities that I am part of... My Family, InnerChange, My community of Westlake, and Some parts of the church. The call to press into the wisdom I have learned while keeping an open learning posture... The call to consider generativity and what I will leave behind when I too am gathered to the "Triumphant Church" risen with Christ.

I can not imagine what my life would be like if I did not have certain commitments in place:

1. A commitment to pray. I am currently reviewing the history of my life with a view on how prayer has impacted it. The more I reflect on this... the deeper my commitment to make prayer a priority becomes. I have had an amazing extraordinary life. Prayer and the vision birthed out of prayer has been key to many of the good decisions I have made. Many of my less than good decisions could be seen as a lack in this internal commitment to turn all matters to matters of prayer. How long will it take me to really agree with Christ that, "Without Christ I can do nothing".

2. Reading the One year Bible... It has gotten me out of the habit of reading just what I like. It has gotten me into the scriptures in a fresh way. I have a growing company of friends who are reading the same scriptures along with me. I am finding this an amazing tool for discipleship.

3. Gratitude for the grace I have found in my marriage to Jude. Her love, wisdom, and gracious accountability has been key to my lasting as long as I have in the work that I do in Los Angeles.

4. I can not just work to help the poor... I must work to change the conditions that keep the poor impoverished. Francis Ogorman's book Charity and Change has some priceless wisdom to offer anyone committed to Biblical transformation.

My Father has passed on...

John Watson Sr,
received his last rites from Father Vincent (Russian Orthodox Church)
10:40 AM — July 5, 2009
and died peacefully in the presence of several family members.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers,
John and Jude

Conversations and Keeping Jesus in the Mix...

Jesus said, I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE...

I am priveleged to have the core of my day to day life wrapped around three important conversations...

THE WAY... "How are we going to meet OUR daily needs and what does it mean to allow God to help us with this?" This is not a departure from good theology into economics... rather it is at the heart of good theology... As seen in Acts 2, The Lord's Prayer... "Give Us this OUR daily bread"... What does it mean to "Consider the Lillies of the field and the Birds of the Air... and to SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD??? Matthew 6..

THE TRUTH... "What is of real value & how do we enter into our personal and corporate "Purpose" for our lives?"

THE LIFE... "What is the good life?" A life worth living with contentment, joy, satisfaction and significance...

Jesus Christ wants to be a part of all this...
and helping people include God in all of their lived life is what is at the core of my life journey.

Musing worth Further Reasearch

I have been thinking becuase of my work context on realities that impact brain chemistry in a positive way and the mind, body, soul, spirit, / Holy Spirit interactions.

In a admittedly fragmentory way...

There may be more to the Admonision to "Sing to the Lord a new song than we might imagine."
Recent Plasticity of the brain studies show that the brain continues to grow and recover over most of our lifetime if the conditions for brain growth are right.

Key to the right conditions is continued learning. The brain being challenged to learn, remember, retain, and use new ideas, concepts and exercise new actions. The more wholistic the learning the better.

Music also has the power to alter brain chemistry.

Communal actions have the power to redefine a persons sense of slef & Selfhood.

So maybe the churches in my community that feature hours of worship serveral times a week are actually providing a kind of healing community that is "transforming the minds" of many of the participants.

Here is a tension...

Anthems feed the sense of communal life. Their stability and not changing helps set the anchors for a community or culture/sub-culture.

New songs will adnvance change.

So we have the need for both the old and the new in any worship context.

If we only have old songs... or songs that no longer fit our world and context... boredom sets in and we lose the power that music and learning can have on the brain. Anthems are only meaningful if deeply felt.

all of these thoughts are fragmentory and in the raw...

The One Year Bible

Dear Friends,


I have come to a point in my own "Spiritual Walk" where I need to be pushed to read the parts of the Bible that I am not naturally drawn to... I also am really impacted by form as well as content. I am finding the "One Year Bible" a tremendous tool for getting me back into the scriptures. It also is giving me a tool to share with a larger network of friends.

The One Year Bible is the Bible arranged in a different way. Every Day there is a portion of the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs set appart for that calander date. Having these portions already organized for reading is a great gift. In addition to this... The Missionary Community of LA InnerChange has begun to read this together... Giving us a common bond of scripture that we all are reading. It is a great tool to invite others into reading the scriptures together with the potential of reading through the whole Bible in a year. It also shakes me out of my tendency to pick the passages I like to read and to avoid the passages that are more challenging and difficult.

If you happen to have any extra copies of "The One Year Bible". We would love to have them to use as ministry tools as we challenge the Christians around us to make room for reading God's Word in their daily lives.

A few tips that I have found:

*If you miss a day... do not allow guilt get in the way... Read the reading for today first... you can always read more if you want to. Use the same attitude that Brother Lawrence teaches about prayer in his little book "The Practice of the Presence of God". Think of it as spiritual food and try to simply enjoy your food.
*Keep your copy out in the open where you will see it.
*Read a portion before or after a meal
* Note that this is also available online: http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/
*If something inspires you, challenges you, or stirs up questions... Share this in your conversations...
*IF YOU FIND THIS PRACTICE HELPFUL THEN INVITE OTHERS INTO IT AS WELL!!!

I am back in the mix...

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

I am glad to finally be settled back in LA.

This Fall is going to be about God, Art & Business...

InnerChange continues to grow in its vision and capacity. I just came back from our annual conference. We have fully adopted the historical structure of a Christian Religious Order. Do you want to go deeper with God... ask me about it and I would love to share this journey of Deepening Faith and Growing Love and Joy with you.

LA Street Productions continues to persist and grow. I am glad that there is both opportunities and resources that keep coming our way... sometimes as gift. I have decided to feature my friends who are active in LA St. Prod. as my top friends... becuase we want to help each other keep growing as artists.

Many of you know about the Book Business that I have been teaching people about in my office. If you want to do the work to make an extra $200-$300/month by maintaining an inventory of books to sell (Roughly 200 books). I can teach you the basics of how to do it and help you get started. These skills are really useful if you are going to school and want to buy your books online at a cheeper price and would like to sell your old text books back to others before they lose their value and go out of date.

Currently reading :
The Home-Based Bookstore: Start Your Own Business Selling Used Books on Amazon, eBay or Your Own Web Site
By Steve Weber

A MicroEnterprise Initiative Moves beyond a pilot project...

This past Weekend Christain Assembly in Eagle Rock allowed us to do a book drive at their church. We have recieved 131 boxes of books which we estimate to be about 3,100 books. This will position us to begin working on our vision to teach emerging leaders how to use various internet tools to build economic opportunities. Pray for this work. It take vision to move beyond a Santa Claus mentality to vision. What is critical is that this resource is turned into tools for learning skills that will be applied to other opportunities.

"To go well beyond teaching someone how to fish... to learn how to position oneself to own the pond if that is what is needed... Still how to fish is necessary..."

Jonathan McCracken will have a critical role in the transfer of some of the initial skills. He has done all that I have asked him to do and is bennefiting from it... and is running a small model business for others to learn from...

If you look up enterprise international you will see a video that talks about this ministy thrust...
Look at the Los Angeles story...

I literally have 2 women who are gifted evangelists... that any increase in economic freedom would mean increased evangelism & Discipleship efforts.

I have an emerging teacher who will not get his first real pay check until October. He is full of questions about God, Faith, and doubts... But he hungers for truth and justice.

I have a network of emerging artists... all in different places of faith...

I have a 2 friends who have a ministry to skatter youth in their neighborhood... once again it is economics that limit the time that they can invest in a significant network of youth.

Some of us dream of the what if we could stumble into the kind of grace that the early church in Act2 gew out of... We long for this deeper sense of community...

This is part of what will mark my efforts this summer.

Peace and Grace,
Jaw1

Family Matters...

The amazing truth is that my Dad is stable and settled into his own room in a nursing home that can care for his medical needs.

My mom Survived her opperation and is recovering... staying at my aunts house.

My Aunt Kathy is working as a Physicians Assistant at a hospital... good challenging work... but also draining at times.

The cousins are all in an intergenerational soup that is all to common. The sepparation and remarriage of Doug... my uncle to a new wife has ripped the foundation of trust in what the family knew as true. To honestly look at our story means to have to sort through a lot of pain.

I wish I could get everyone in our journey to wrestle with the honesty of many of the Biblical narratives. They openly talk of how humans maked choices that has consequences over the generations. It also points to God who continues to seek ways to intervene and impact our day to day lives.

Let us begin again... and discover in a fresh way what these stories might inform us about in our lives...

The larger stories that we reference in our hearts are the stories... Much like the stars in the sky... impacted early nautical navigation... These stories shape the landscape of our choices.

Where you go is profoundly effected by which stories you choose to pay attention to...

My Uncle Mickey served his country well and fought in the Korean war. During that war the government issued each soldier a New Testament and a pack of cigarrettes. He died of cancer. He had a military burial... and spent his life fixing and maintaining Heliocopeters. I pray that his soul found rest.

To Start Again... Again...

Today I have been reminded of the way journaling has been a means of grace to my soul. I Tim. 4:16 says, "Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." So I am back to the work of recalling and reflection... here... and I will also add a visual element to the mix... See the Link to "JawArt".

Update on My DAD

My dad is in a nursing home recovering from his 90 days on a repirator... and 3 operations... It is a miracle that he is alive... thank you to all of you that expressed your care for my journey through your kind thoughts and prayers... and doing your part to hold the clan together.

They say that it takes about 1 week of recovery for each day that one is on a respirator. If you are the praying sort... Our prayer is that my dad will recover enough to qualify for the assited living program at the nursing home where he is at...

Our days are not infinite...
Cease the day for the good that you want to be part of the history of your lives.

My DAD and Family

Dear Praying Friends,

I would like to thank you all for your persistent prayers. The fact that my dad is still alive is a miracle. When I last communicated with you all, my dad was still on a respirator and had just gone through an experimental procedure to repair his lungs. The first miracle is that he is completely off of oxygen. The second is that he is now convalescing in a long term care facility where he can continue his rehabilitation. Pray for this long journey. Some experts say it takes an average of one week of rehab to recover from one day of being on a respirator. This would seem to imply that my dad has 90 weeks of recovery ahead of him.



We have just found out that the doctors believe that his brother Mickey will live only one more year, maximum, due to the lung cancer he is fighting. My dad already misses the friendship and support that Mickey used to offer, and feels badly that he can't be there to support his brother as he would like to.



My sister Sunday, who has carried most of the burden of caring for our dad, is now happily expecting her second child, due in March. I am going to Philadelphia for a couple of weeks to help Sunday and the family in whatever ways I can. This may include helping my dad figure out what he is going to do with all of his stuff that has been sitting in his empty apartment since spring. It is now clear that it will take over a year before my dad would have the strength to live on his own again, if indeed he regains enough strength for that to happen.



During this trip, my half brother Gabriel is getting married. He also intends to join the Marines. This pleases my dad a lot, but raises concerns in my own heart for his safety and well being.



Please keep me in your prayers as we try to resolve my dad's housing and financial situation. If we can't resolve this so that he can get out of debt, he may loss his spot in this care facility. My dad is struggling in his new situation because most of the other residents are 10-20 years older than he is, and many of them are not very talkative, while my dad is an extrovert and thrives in social situations. This makes it more difficult for him to accept where he is and to let go of his apartment. Pray that Dad's friends will visit him, and that he will also make meaningful friendships where he is. Pray also for me, because I feel the weight and the void in this situation.



Also, my cousin Joshua is seeking to restore his relationship with God, and hopes to see me while I am on the east coast. This too would be an answer to years of prayer.



Jude will stay here and be preparing to teach in January, as well as visiting her mom for Thanksgiving.



Thank you again for your prayers.

John TW

Breathing Deeper on Sabbatical

A Sabbatical Reflection on context:

The Sun had set and the evening had begun to darken -- shadows had ceased to be shadows. I sat comfortably reading in an easy chair next to the sliding glass door. I left the door open and closed the screen and was enjoying the fresh evening air while reading a Psalm of David.

An itch in my nose and then the sound of scraping caused me to turn my head to the screen door that was less than 2 feet next to where I was sitting. A skunk was pressing its face into the screen door. I, in a startled panic, suddenly breathe in and choke on the foul smelling air. Just as startled, I imagine, the skunk in a flash had turned and positioned himself to spray me. I fled my seat faster than I have moved in a long time. I could feel my heart pounding. Once I was fifteen feet away, I turned to see the skunk lumber away from the screen door and out of view. I was grateful for having escaped a possible nightmare of accidental encounters… still am reminded that if the skunk had chosen to demonstrate its power, I would have spent the next month trying to eliminate the pungent odor from the living room … a smell so strong that even a small whiff of it made me choke.

I know for sure that I am not in Los Angeles.

Later that week in the woods, Jude and I see two Great Horned Owls. While I fear skunks, these owls enjoy eating them. According to the local experts… There has been a significant increase in the number of skunks in the larger area. Non-indigenous plants that they like to eat are to blame. I have seen a skunk several times since then and I know I am not seeing the same one.

I am learning not to worry or fear… either the skunks get me or they do not… Worry can’t change the color of my hair (except give me more grey hair than I already have…) or change my height (except bend me over with bad posture…) and why cling to that when God offers his gracious kingdom (Matthew 6) – Time to press further in…

Jude is enjoying bird watching. She’s signed up for a class about birds and is learning the names of all sorts of birds…White-tailed kite, snowy plover, Anna’s hummingbird, Wilson’s warbler (en route to Central America), Great egrets, American Kestral. This gift of naming… intensifies awareness and watching increases wonder and enjoyment. How often do we see without seeing.

In this season I find my sensitivity to life and my enjoyment of it all being restored and refreshed. This is part of what “sabbatical” is for; learning, and a restoration of Holy curiosity, wonder and gratitude.

Dear friends — thank you for your prayers. I do not think that I would have been able to handle seeing the challenges that my dad and my family have to face without your prayer support. We are thankful that the doctors have been able to complete one half of the experimental procedure on my dad’s lungs. He now is able to spend more than one half of the day each day off of the ventilator (breathing machine). Also, during this time of intensified prayer, my sister met a doctor at her church that works at Temple University Hospital, where my dad is. The issues related to my dad’s poor circulation in his legs are now also being cared for by some of the top doctors in Pennsylvania. Please continue to pray for the healing of the hole in his lung and for all that needs to happen for the second half of the procedure to be scheduled and completed.
What is most difficult currently is that my sister (who has a two year old) is the only person consistently visiting my dad, and she is weary. His brother Mickey, who is struggling to beat lung cancer, had been visiting, but his health has worsened and he is not able to visit.
Pray that my dad’s extended network of friends and my half brother and half sister (who just had a baby this week) would find it in their hearts to visit him also.
My dad is the kind of person for whom a simple note or card will mean a lot. If you feel inspired to send a note, you can send it to:

John Watson Sr.
C/O John Watson jr.
PO Box 17367
LA. CA. 90017

Thank you again for your standing with us in prayer.
Grace and Peace,
John TW

Pray for my Dad

If you are reading this blog...

as a request for a minute or two of prayer for my dad on this critical day in his struggle to continue life here on earth. He has a hole in his lungs that is not healing. I spent a week with him before the Fourth of July. He goes on and off a respirator... And is under the care of some of the best lung doctors in Pen. At Temple University Hospital. He has signed up for an experimental procedure. From a medical standpoint... Everything depends on the hole in his lungs healing.

Conversation: John's dad

Hello — we just received a call from John's sister. His dad is finally going to have the one way value procedure today. (This will cut off the flow of air to the area of his lungs that has a leak or could produce one.) The last days have been very difficult, and he has been showing signs of giving up and even moments of feeling very depressed. Please pray for his body and also his spirit and soul, that the procedure would be successful and that God would encourage him today. Please also pray for John's sister Sunday, who is his main social support.
Thanks so much for standing with us in prayer.
John and Jude TW

THANK YOU FOR ANY AND EVERY PRAYER!

Wisdom... the Heritage of words...

Dear Friends,

I sit here disquieted. I now have words for what I long for and have not gotten from my father. He currently is ill and may not make it. What I long for is the proper heritage of wisdom that I never got from him.

I now see from reading the models of William Pen and his “Some Fruits of Solitude”, of King Solomon (Proverbs & Ecclesiates) and King Lemuel (Proverbs 31), Brother Lawrence and “The Practice of the Presence of God” and others. That “Proverbs” are horizontal offerings and can be a heritage of love for one’s fellow man. A heritage of wisdom gathered over a life time.

In the Same way Psalms/Songs like those of David are vertical offerings… and so are the great historical hymns to the current songs of praise… Each generation needs to find it’s own voice of Praise.

Like it says in Colossians 1:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

I think that each generation is responsible to capture it’s own voice of wisdom for their generation… as well as their own voice of praise.

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:43-45)

We live in a time that is knowledge rich but thin on Wisdom. That is why we know how to do so much stuff… yet struggle with the quality of day-to-day life. We have quantity… Some of us are thirsty for the satisfaction that comes through wisdom that connects us lovingly to each other and causes us to enter into the history that matters.

Proverbs 24 and Weird Al's White & Nerdy

Proverbs 24 provides a context for me to think about Knowledge, Understanding and Wisdom.

Juxtaposed to this the parodies of culture presented in the movie Napoleon Dynamite & Weird Al and his song I'm too White and Nerdy… and you have a cutting edge expose' of how far the collapse socially of the dominant culture is in popular culture. This collapse from dominance is what post-modern folks mean when they say that the center will not hold. I do not have any problem with this to the extent that mainstream culture has also left God out of the picture.

To me this provides a huge opportunity for the people of God… because we live in a knowledge thick world that is very thin on wisdom. It is time for fresh movements of faith to rise up and demonstrate depth… words will not be enough… Let's look back at Proverbs 24 and break down some of the wisdom in it for our times…


3Through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation],

4And by knowledge shall its chambers [of every area] be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

• My First point is to try to get us to grasp where we are in our current times. KNOWLEDGE IS our cultural KING. Whether that is the heady knowledge of the Nerd, The social Elite, The Style Elite, or the Street Knowledge of the Thug. In our current cultural mythos if someone has the right Knowledge he or she will get over in life and be able to get all the "stuff" in life that matters.

The codes of knowledge… that of the academy belonging to the "Nerds" and their domain of the University, and "The Code Of the Streets" belonging to the Thugs of the world and "the hood" both have dire outcomes in terms of ultimate meaning.

As T.S. Eliot observes in this cultural decline now recognized by the academy.

"Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? "
T. S. Eliot

The Hip Hop Group" The Black Eyed Peas" share their Lament with the streets:

"What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas…

Chorus:
People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the love2x)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction…"

This is the condition that Cornel West calls "Practical Nihilism" and Neil Postman calls it "Amusing Ourselves to Death".

The Bible Simply calls this the sin of "The Pride of Life"
The Decay in quality of thought is clearly marked out in Romans 1:21-23

21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Our Idols are pop Idols like Britney Speers who is falling from her throne to Thom Cruise and many others…

We are living in a Spiritually dangerous time because our times are stuck on the "precious and pleasant riches"... that Knowledge seems to offer… Your Cell phone and Lap top in the geek world… to your myspace and thumping bad assed tunes to bee seen on MTV that can be high contexted referenced by elaborate ring tones. What makes these days in our culture so spiritually toxic is that we live in a world that teaches people to love things and use people rather than loving people and using things. Things can stimulate, but they can not love. While many people are lacking the character depth to really love (II Peter 1:3-11).


Proverbs says, "Knowledge puffs up a person"
"Pride comes before a fall and a haughty spirit before destruction."

The fruit of knowledge disconnected to the histories and realities that ultimately matter end in ever increasing consumptions and the loss of the role of love at every level of life & society.

By the way ... I really like the use of parrody used by Weird Al in his song "White & Nerdy". Like Bill Cosby he gets us to laugh at the twisted realities too many people are living. If there were not a lot of white people buying HIPHOP... then it would not have such a large market in the US. The fact that selling out fits the old stereotype of "Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll"... or the ancient categories of sin... "The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life". Does not surprise me. But for me exposes why these forms have sold out on their capacity to communicate the deepest realities that inspire true hope and values.

In response to an open question... "Are organized Religions a Fraud?"

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Religion and Philosophy

[Most of you know that I am very passionate about my faith. I wrote this piece on an open forum that is even somewhat anti-faith... All world views and the actions that flow from them have consequences...]

I would like to suggest that all people have a world view. Part of it is inherited via culture. Part of it is caught through experience. (The basic Nature vs. Nurture debate...)

All people want to understand and be understood. It is human to form groups out of common world views and experiences. (Family Systems theory provide better continuim categories: Rigid to Flexible, Permiable to Impermiable... with evalution being based on the qualities of life produced.)

There is a lot of motivations for organized groups to do both good in the world... like the relief work of "The Salvation Army" and bad in the world... Like the crusades... Good in the world ...Like seeking a cure for cancer ... Or ??? what ??? in the world... Like... why should Britney Speers shaving her head be all that important anyway and on national news???

It is simplistic to blame great evils on being "Organized"... lots more people also die from neglect and disorganization. Rather we should evaluate the delivery system and the qualities of what is being delivered in and through each system.

It is also simplistic to think religion is the problem... Attempts to eliminate religous beliefs as in communist Russia also lead to the death of Many people. Wars have throughout history been more about the competition over resources than a world view... even when the two seem to come togehter... like in World War II...

From an anthropological point of view... Religous experience is part of the human experience. (Denial of soul care according to AA and NA is the core cause of Addictive patterns of behavior.)

Key for me is the room for dialogue, discovery, growth, and change.

Personally, when I was a child I grew up in a family that was atheistic. We encountered as a family experiences that caused us as a family to embrace a Christian World View. I have friends who both share my world view and friends who have very different understandings about the world. (I have not met a person whom I could not learn something benneficial from...)

Personally I am concerned about systems that become too closed and therefore shut down dialogue. The worst of human nature seems to come out when meaningful communication breaks down.

or Systems that become so open that concrete actions can not be taken and evaluated. Not all roads lead to the same place. And not everyone wants to go to the same place or direction. (Kierkagaard is right at this point... All actions and choices have consequences.)

It is this part that is lacking in many human groups...From family systems to Nation States... Economic systems to Systems of belief...

The open honest pursuit of evaluation by groups is what keeps groups healthier and makes for a better learning environment.

For a good but hard read on the religous end: "The Transforming Momment: a Study of convictional Knowledge" by Dr. James Loder

Another hard read... but For a resource to think about systems and to learn how to find your way of making the world a better place that will not impose on you "A religous world view": "Children and their Families in the Social Environment" by Garbarino.

Last but not least... when approaching any faith system... get as close as you can to reading the original sources yourself. The word "Bible" means little books for example... Each little book has it's own historical context.

I like the presentation of the, "Pocket Cannons" as a simple place to explore the Bible: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocket_Canons

I am a poet... so I enjoy what Bono says in his intro about the book of Psalms... a rich book for any poet to read... I think I will play his song 40 just for old time sake.

Currently listening :
The Best of 1980-1990
By U2
Release date: By 10 November, 1998

Holy Week... Now which week is not that???

AnyWay!
Current mood: thankful

For Me the Resurection of Christ reminds me that the risk of Loving and the Challenge of living is all worth it...

Here is my word of encouragement to all my friends for "Holy Week"... actually life is a gift... so it is all a miracle...


People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- Anonymous

Madam Guyon, Suffering... and We all get to live the Book of Job

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

Today I was reading a book called, "Deeper Experiences of Famous Christians" by James Gilchrist Lawson.

What was striking to me is the difference on how Guyon in her time saw suffering compared to our own time. Her response was rather consistently in suffering to turn to God. I spent a good part of the day considering her response in almost every hardship was to turn with trust to God. I tend to just get angry with God when things do not work out the way I want them to...

Job seems like a trajic story. It is our story. We all will live into it. The loss of everything. Time will eat away at our lives. In Romans 8 it says that God gave the whole of our creation over to decay... So In time we will even have to pass through death's door ourselves. Not everyone gets the chance to wrestle with God. To question him about what in the world is this all about? And to hear God's answer, "These matters are to great for you to fully understand... Did you see when I did X, Y, or Z???"

The difference between many that are great in faith and the rest of us...
is their ability to say "Naked came I into this world and Naked shall I return from where I came." No of us called ourselves into exsistence. The difference is a core trust that whether in Life or Death we belong to God.

Some of us get delusional and temporarily think that we are the ultimate masters of our own fate. I do... and I find today... that this delusion is a sickness called denial that cuts me off from humility and my humanity. God have mercy on my soul -- Amen.

Madam Guyon decided that she would start an intense relationship with God before she had to go from this life to the next. I am asking myself why am I settling for less?

Currently listening :
Blessed Be Your Name the Songs of Matt Redman, Vol. 1
By Matt Redman
Release date: By 19 July, 2005

To All My Friends who are tempted to think with the wrong Head

To All My Friends who are tempted to think with the wrong Head... This is a letter 4 U.

History is in the making. Mothers and Fathers... Who will or will not have self-control. Children need Faithful Fathers and Mothers...

Choices and consequences. There is life after the big wow. A history to live with...

Porn feeds off of the lack of the real in terms of intimacy and relationship. It can also leads to a very lonely life... If one can not trust oneself... Why should anyone trust you??? No Trust = No real Intimacy.

I don't want to be pimped nor do I want to see my friends pimped... nor my family, nor my Culture.

As KRS One Says, There is no such thing as just making love, instead we should say... "making life"...
both history and the children that become part of it through our actions are real and can never be earased.

Fantasy is just that. There are no actions without consequences. Our thought life will lead to actions.

Like I have always said... God made us male and female and knows all about Sex... It was God's idea... God made what is good in Sex good. Then he gave us some guidance aboout what good looks like... If you ignore this advice and try to use Sex beyound what it intended for... you will suffer the consequences of your thoughts and actions.

Like in bowling there can be a significant time gap between a choice and the consequences. Sometimes a 9 month or more time gap...

Do not tell me I am against good sex. Have you ever read... "Song of Solomon"? Some of you will never know real romance because you became a slave to lust... and never learned what true love is about. Time to go back and learn before it is too late.

Real friends tell the truth to real friends. When they get burned they do not lie about it... Keep it real people.

Keep the Love Real,
Jaw1

Please Help find my friend's Uncle!!!

If you live in LA ... take a good look at this picture and help us find Mr. Romero.

Teach the Real

Warning, "Jude says that this should be cut up into parts... that some will find these too much to digest in one sitting". So I am publishing it here with the hope of Each of these points will be a good beginning for future surmon topics... I would love to preach on these themes...


Things we Usually do not teach our Kin... and maybe we should:

1. "Lord teach us to Number OUR days". If you are 15 years Old... In 3 years you will be a "Legal Adult" making adult decisions that will set the course of the first part of your life... In 10 years you will have full adult responsibilities and will need to be able to lead others...(Possibly including your own children)... In 20 Years you will be shaping within the sphere of your influence "The Content and Quality of life" for both yourself and those within your sphere of influence... In 40 Years (which may seem a long ways away... but in truth will come sooner than most of us think...) Your Satisfaction will be based on the history you have made... both for yourself and those around you... In 80 Years the next generation will either bennefit from how you Lived or Not... They will have a reason to name you in hisotry with a sense of thanks and gratitude... or Not. Reguardless, Each of us will answer to God for the life that we have lived.

2. "Every Generation has to choose what is of value to pass on to the next Generation." This is not automatic. Whole civilizations rise and fall on the Content and Quality of What they pass on and what the present Generation learns and discovers rooted in their inheritance. See II Timothy 2:2

3. We Are born lost and not knowing our way into a world that is lost in both confusion and "Sin"... this is both personal and public.

The state of confussion is easy to see. We all struggle with it to some degree every day. Confussion simply is not knowing what we are doing and why we are doing it. Only by facing bravely this state of mind does one mature and rise above it... Sometimes for short momments... and sometimes for longer periods of time. (Humility is learned in this cloud of Unknowing when we can say we do not know... only then is discovery possible.) Groups only rise out of their own confusion when they can wrestle honestly with humility the real questions that impinge on life.

The reality of being stuck in Sin is hard for the modern/post-modern mind to see. And if the adults will not see it for what it is then that makes it even harder for the youth who are growing up to see what is going on. (Hebrew 3:12-13) Sin hides itself in our pride and without honesty it does us and the next generation real damage. The most productive word picture that I have found so far is "taking the trash to the trash can". I know in my head what I am doing. I do it any way. Much of what is in there is not good for the earth and will end up in this place called a landfill. Generations after me will suffer for and from my actions. It is really hard to stop... Recycling to the extent that I do it only eliminates some of it. Yet anything I do not address is toxic for the next generation.

(The reason why this generation finds the language of the church about sin hard to understand is because of the pride and arrogance of our times... We have spent far too much time accusing others of evil and sinfull acts while ignoring our involvement with sin ourselves... In contrast if God can through the Holy Spirit convict us daily of the sin in our own life... it will be natural that those around us will bennefit from our humility and find themselves also convicted by the same loving and gracious Holy Spirit. Currently we live in a world that wants justice done to somebody else... rather than the more hopeful view that Mercy can triumph over justice.)

4. Understanding our Times. Currently we live at a time where we are being consummed by consummerism. Materialism has lost any anchor to meaning and reason. Many desire to posses things and in turn secretely find themselves possed by them as a way of being "Cool", Comfortable, Entertained, or Significant. More simply put we know that we should love people and use things; Yet, the current dominant culture teaches us to love things and use people. In fact the way we use the worlds resources shows us to what extent we value power and things over the value of a life. Our times are very far away from the values lifted up by Jesus... who said, "Whatever you have done to the least of these my brothers you have done it to me." (Matthew 25)

II Timothy 2:2

I am asking for prayer as I am glowing with a sense of joy mixed with sadness. My friend Roxy teaches 6th grade at a local grade school. She is having her baby dedicated to God this Sunday at our church. She took a personal day today to help a friend...

My Friend Chris has helped his wife Roxy get through school. Supported her all along the way. Now it is his turn to go back to school and get his education. He is a loving and tender father... Supportive of Roxy their baby and now Roxy's efforts to help her friend in this time of need.

When the family network fails to be the support network... Where can people turn... "Who is our Neighbor?"

Families... Valued or thrown away... Roxy's friend needs to escape an abusive addicted boyfriend/father who says he does not want or need her and their kids anymore. So her friend takes a step towards freedom and hope for her children without their father. Roxy's desire is that the love and life that has impacted her life will be passed on to others... A love rooted in God (Ephesians 3:14-21).

What we live and teach is intergenerational. It all is about the quality of lives we live. We need to entrust the best we have learned to those who will pass it on as a heritage -- II Timothy 2:2.

Dreams and Jacob's Ladder

I am struck by how Jacob in Genesis 29 responds so profuondly to a dream. His world view connected what he dreamed to reality. This became a doorway for his relationship with God to grow.

These days I am staying up to late to dream... taking in too many images in the form of movies, TV, and Advertisments... Lacking the stillness to dream...

There is a connection to dreaming, hope, and praying. When our deepest desires get burried in the imeadiate we forget to pray. Satisfaction is so different than entertainment. Sifted desires... to be left to long for holy longings and then to pursue those longings -- this is the true fruit of prayer.

The integrity of my life is bound up with the integrity of my dreams and my prayers.

Dreams are only as reliable as the soul that has them. Initiative can come from God and even very tainted souls can be touched by the devine in their dreams. The integrity of our response.

Anywhere where we can dream is Holy ground.

Genesis 23

Today I have the joy to have my first full day of a two-week vacation. Jude and I are currently at her brother Peter’s house near Santa Barbara. The hospitality here is incredible because, Thea, Peter’s wife is so fond and gifted at hosting.

Tube… They have cable and by choice Jude and I do not… Last night I watched some of the history channel about the history of the Ottoman Empire, Some Japanese Animation, and the military channel on some of the history of tanks… plus the tail end of the godfather III…
This morning…
I Watched the US women’s soccer team play China… left off from that when they were winning 4 to 1… and watched Farscape flicking back and forth from these two programs. (This habit of channel flicking drives Jude crazy). Farscape left some very good questions about addictions. The best of fiction and the best of theology – as I see it -- raises the questions that matter about life and really living. Questions, not just to float with… but rather to press into the gift of life for what it is…

My Old Testament scripture for this day… Genesis 23 is sobering for me literally… having been intoxicated for a short time by the tube. Genesis 23 is about the death of Sarah and the work of honoring her life through burial… including purchasing a field with a cave for that purpose…

The existentialists are right a this point. Death forces us to consider the meaning of our life and the ways in which we spend it… Reading this encourages me to move away from the tube and to sit and enjoy the patio of my brother-in-laws house with Jude… To again appreciate her in life rather than staying self absorbed.

I could stay self absorbed and morbid. Since 2000 I know 26 people who have all gone to their grave. Visiting Gravesites of those whom I have loved has really begun to inform my soul not to take the times and days I have for granted. The gift of this space for reflection and prayer has also been more fruitful than I like to admit.

So much of our current culture ends in dissipation and various forms of “drunkenness”. Pain buried and sensitivity to joy diminished for the sake of ???

As a Christian, poet, and artist… I want to remain awake and alive… yet swim in the current culture.

I have started a myspace… / jawpoetry I find it quite a flesh market. It will take real accountability not to get sucked in. I have started this space at the request of various friends. If I have a burial site will it feed the souls of others the way visiting the burial site of Dr. James Loder has fed my soul? The unexamined life is not worth living or remembering… Maybe that is why those who are disconnected from hope and vision are so given over to addictions and dissipation?

Jude sits here reading The Chamber, by Grisham… good story plots she says… good vacation reading… Brueggemann says we live in a multi-storied universe. The existentialists say that it is the personal story that ultimately matters. I have come to believe it is what God would say about our story that really matters. Some lives deserve to be memorialized. Sarah has a sacred life and a sacred tomb. The scriptures choose a very different slice of humanity than what typical historians would choose… both to praise and to vilify. Don’t try to make Abraham and Sarah into super human people. Abraham questioned the promises of God at times and Sarah laughed… They schemed, lied, tried to figure things out their own way, and loved each other in their lifetime. What set them apart literally and figuratively is that when God asked them to go on an undefined journey they were willing to go…

So Sarah was buried in a foreign land away from much of her family and at a very high price… (Compare 400 shekels with 17 in Jeremiah 32:9…) Having Inter-generational hopes, visions, or dreams will mean that when we die some… if not many / or most of our hopes and dream may remain unfulfilled. Like MLK Jr’s, “I have a dream”. Tombs are meaningful when the hopes, visions, and dreams of those we visit have the power to continue to inspire us. Relevance comes from the choice of those who reference the past intermingled with the divine that anchors the past with sacred meaning.

LA is filled with a culture that works at forgetting and starting over. HipHop thrives on the triumph of the present moment. In contrast, Judeo Christian roots and the Scriptures as well as our history continues to give us a lot to reflect on and remember. This invites us to our own journey with God where ever it will lead.

I hope that either the core visions, hope, and dreams that I have will be lived out in my lifetime… or what is more likely the case… that it will be worth while for some living souls for me to have a tomb, gravesite or grave marker. Yes I crave significance… and the existentialists are partially right, “nothingness haunts being”. Yet the stories of the scripture are not a tease where only others get to have a relationship with God and we get to watch and read about it… In the midst of life we get to go on our own journey of faith, doubt, and laughter… until we too are gripped by dreams and visions that have intergenerational vision.

Jude reminds me that true meaning comes from our being part of God’s story and that gives us meaning in life… and that I like most of us forget that and get sucked into a more ego-centered perspectives.