Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Where I am at...

Besides being Crazy busy.

I get the privelege of bringing a friend home from prison tommorrow. I roll out today with a lot on my mind. I have more than one friend who needs a job. Looking for housing has also become a challenge these days... In this process grace seems to be thin and the room for new chances for new beginnings in our current society feels thin. Any help with networking is greatly appreciated.

The cat for me is out of the bag. A friend a long time ago noticed that I never appear angry. I learned a long time ago to wall out such powerful emotional feelings. Every once and a while I would withdraw with some depression -- I have learned now to call that frozen anger. Even more rarely I would explode in my own unique way... Just recently hurt a friend in this kind of explosion only to withdraw into depression. Here is the secrete root of some of my own compulsiveness... now exposed to the light. It is time to grow time. Time to look and revisit life. Time to learn a wider range of healthy emotions. Mel Gipson's film helped crack the shell. Jesus shows an amazing capacity to stay present and to love in the midst of the pain. I see the same truth in scripture... and his death is equally for me as for any of us...

"Be angry and Sin not"... Comfort at this point and escapism is a threat to personal depth of character. To move from being reactive to being proactive. Fatih functions with eyes to lean into the future (Hebrews 11). If much of my life is reactive... some of that part of my life is yet to be brought under the "Way of Peace" that is found in Christ. What I know in my heart needs time to be worked through in my heart. Like Paul said... "I do not want to have preached to others and find myself disqualified."

Some who know me may say I am being too hard on myself. Thank you for your concern. I know that I have tasted the fruit of faith and I am hungry and thirsty for more. It takes a time of shaking and getting rid of every hinderance...(Hebrews 12) sometimes in a radical way to progress in faith. Love is the goal and the reward... to find in one's heart a genuine love for every neighbor... and this kind of love also is free enough from attatchments not to "keep any records of wrongs" -- I Corinthians 13.

I am not saying that we should not confront or challenge. It is the motive and the method that I am looking to grow in... we work to help love grow... this means working for justice for example... to work for justice being motivated by the wrong doing leads to burn out. To work for justcie being motivated out of love and compassion leads to freedom. I have smelt the fire burning up the twists in my motives... the sifting has just arrived on a public stage of life. "God is determined that if anyone is going to do 'God's work' that it will be done in 'God's Way'".

Leasons in humility are waiting and are in line for me... and maybe some of you as well.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdome of God".

Monday, March 29, 2004

Play List for Tommorrow Pluss...

I had a lot of fun with this show. If you aren't hearing my shows on the net... I could at the requst of some who emial me send out a copy CD of one of my shows just to give you a flavor of what's up. It is one way I get space to reflect and then share some of my reflections with others. And so it goes... email me ; )

1. Track 03 2:26 Blackalicious Arrow 2.8 MB
2. Track 01 3:52 Stained 4.5 MB
3. Track 13 3:51 Matthew 6 4.5 MB
4. Light 3:12 Apt Core #2 3.7 MB
5. Track 20 5:39 KRS ONE 6.5 MB
6. peacemaker 4:28 Marie Brennan Whisper to the Wild Water 5.2 MB
7. Zombie 5:07 Cranberries Best Of
8. Intro a 3:25 Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities Excerpts Books & Spoken
9. intro b 2:37 Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities Excerpts Books & Spoken
10. I'm Gonna Live the Life 2:37 Mahalia Jackson The Greatest Gospel singer In the World
11. Track 11 3:00 Daniel Amos
12. Resplendent 5:02 Bill Mallonee & Vigilantes of Love Audible Sigh
13. Track 03 3:24 5 Blind Boys of Alabama
14. Mercy Rains 5:31 Barry Taylor Love Songs for Underdogs
15. Cantan Los Ninos 5:55 Giovani Aniversaio
16. Track 02 0:46 Scratch

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Working through it All

Today I am reading and reflecting on the life of Oscar Romero. He is a very significant man of Peace and Faith from El Salvador -- Killed for his witness... I find much of what he has to say compelling and worth reflecting on inour times.

Sunday I had the responsibility of pulling together some quotes for an evening of reflection with LA InnerChange. We were all enriched and challenged by it.

I choose to read some of these quotes on KR.
And played Ruth Naomi Floyd's Album Fan into Flame & Walk and Not Be Faint

I am also Reading The Holy Longing. The author starts from the world of "Sprituality" and works towards his own world view. (He belongs to the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate who feel called to serve the poor as their main charism.) I do not land where he does... but it is so far a good read. Good enough to encourage others to take a look... Insight into the times we are living in.

I am a little sick today. A little feverish. I had a cold just last week. Back to prayer, Robitussin & Niquill.

Yesterday like most Mondays recently... I spent 2 hours toutoring a neighbor. A couple of youth came by interested in learning how to play chess. My experience is that we are all healthier when we are growing and learning something. Chess is a game that hinges on the power and permanence of choice. A great game to help at risk youth who have the patience to learn the realities of choice and consequence -- Oh...and it's only a game.

Jenga is the most inclusive game that I have found out there... great for all ages together.

And so it Goes...

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Wrestle Mix Again on KR

Wrestle Mix

1. This Present Darkness 2:40 Deliverance Live in the Studio
2. When I Flow 4:18 Cross Movement
3. The Hurricane 8:34 Bob Dylan
4. Track 06 3:14 KRS ONE Kristyles
5. The Trouble with Normal 3:37 Bruce Cockburn
6. Track 01 3:52 Stained
7. They All Fall Down 5:23 Grits
8. Thank You For the Cross 4:48
9. Never Give Up 3:17 KRS ONE Spiritual Minded
10. Track 03 2:26 Blackalicious Arrow
11. Track 08 2:36 Larea Raine Garretson
12. Burn Hollywood Burn 2:47 Public Enemy Fear of a Black Planet
13. Resplendent 5:02 Bill Mallonee & Vigilantes of Love Audible Sigh
14. Track 03 3:24 5 Blind Boys of Alabama
15. peacemaker 4:28 Marie Brennan Whisper to the Wild Water
16. Alienated 2:17 Rez XX
17. Mommentum 3:23 Tobby Mac
18. I'm Gonna Live the Life 2:37 Mahalia Jackson The Greatest Gospel singer In the World
19. Track 02 0:46 Scratch

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

The Poison Tree by William Blake sent to me by Boy1

Boy I agree with you. Blake is often an insightful and powerful artist. Thanks for sending this out to me.

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunnèd it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Til it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

William Blake
From “Songs of Experience”

Some of my reflections conected to this poem:
* Anger is a result of knowing good and evil... by being responsible to make and keep the boundries of "fairness", "justice", etc.... The symbol of the tree of knowledge of good and evil is borrowed here. I wonder what life would have been like if like sex we ate of the tree of the knowledge of "Good and Evil" at a more age appropriate time. I don't think God created the "Tree" to tempt us. Yet Blakes tree is rather a diffferent kind of tree. It's fruit tempted one's enemy into becoming a victim. It is grown as our creation and not God's.

*Scripture (book chapter:verses) has a lot to say about anger: Matthew 5:21-26, Eph. 4:25-32, James 1:19-20 are just a few examples. We are to be real with our negative emotions and yet not necessarily be guided by them.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Streaming on KR

Today I am playing some:

Cross Movement
The Blind Boys of Alabama
and excerpts from The Online Prayer Guide (See Link)

I am also going to be reading some quotes by Dr. Richard Peace's book Meditative Prayer: Entering God's Presence.

It is interesting where and how streams of ideas flow. The phrase of "Each One Teach One" is Frank Laubach. He wasn't rocking the MIC ... He was determined to walk day in and out with God. He sought to promote literacy and succeeded a big way at this... with much respect!!!

Had a lot of fun today on KR.

Other goings on today.

Worked through Dr. Richard Peace's book Meditative Prayer: Entering God's Presence. today as part of my homework for his class. I liked it alot. Good practical wisdom.

Had lunch with Mariam and took her picture with her school books to promote our Multi-level mentoring community project.

Spent time in the office with small stuff... but it all has to get done sometime.

Yesterday I had a blast from 4-6:30pm toutoring a Danny and Becky in our neighborhood. I love those two kids and their family.

InnerChange leadership meetings have occupied Jude and I over the last 8 days and they are finally done for now. Got some complements for my cooking. I like to cook it is one of my hobbies.

Last Friday I got to share my love for II Peter 1:3-11 with 4 of our neighborhood mentors. Got some good positive feedback on the talk and some very good advice about improving it. It is sooo good to serve and work as a community!!!

I started this morning in prayer at the chapel in Good Samaritan Hospital. I really was moved in a special way today. Still on the grow because of it... Mostly praying in response to Isaiah 53.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

A Prayer for Every Day Life

A Prayer While Paying Bills

May I extend Blessing and Life
to all who receive these resources

Resources entrusted to me
Resources entrusted through me
Resources entrusted to serve

May God Bless those who serve us
at the phone companies...
Please cause us to cherish our communication.
May these resources be used wisely.

May God bless my land lord who serves us...
Please cause us to cherish our homes.
May these resources be used wisely.

May God bless our Power & Water Company...
Please cause us to care for and cherish the Earth.
May these resources be used wisely.

May God bless the use of these taxes paid grudgingly
to the state and federal government.
Please cause us to care and cherish the impact on the content and qualities of our lives.
May these resources be used wisely.

May wisdom be the mark of my choices.
May wisdom be the mark of my home.
May wisdom be the mark of my neighborhood.
May wisdom be the mark of my city, state, and nation.

Increase our wisdom O 'Lord
May our resources be used wisely.
Deepen the meaning in our use of all things.


Prayers for Every Day activities

A Prayer Before Reading

Open my eyes to see you O' Lord
Be the light to my eyes
Be the verbs and the nouns
Be the Marks on each page

May I Remember Every word that is of you O' Lord
-- Every Word of Truth.
May I Forget Anything that is not of you O' Lord
-- Every Deceptive Word.

May I in my Reading...
In my Seeing...
In my Speaking...
In my hearing...

May I be filled with YOU the Living Word
YOU the Word of Truth
YOU the Eternal Word.

Be Light to my eyes O' Lord
Open my eyes to see
All that is good in this book.