Prayers for Every Day activities

A Prayer Before Reading

Open my eyes to see you O' Lord
Be the light to my eyes
Be the verbs and the nouns
Be the Marks on each page

May I Remember Every word that is of you O' Lord
-- Every Word of Truth.
May I Forget Anything that is not of you O' Lord
-- Every Deceptive Word.

May I in my Reading...
In my Seeing...
In my Speaking...
In my hearing...

May I be filled with YOU the Living Word
YOU the Word of Truth
YOU the Eternal Word.

Be Light to my eyes O' Lord
Open my eyes to see
All that is good in this book.

jaw1

Thanks and keep praying for Mr. Tiersma.

My father in-law is in recovery from surgery that Removed cancerous Kidney.

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jaw reads A Hym of St. Patric's Breast Plate

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I find celtic forms of prayers helpful. It affirms our creaturehood, our connection with creation, and our connection to God.

Spinning... Daniel Amos... Again...

There are a few likes that have been with me thorugh the years. the Music of Terry Scott Taylor and the Group Daniel Amos. They feed my poetic essoteric side of my soul. I know it is not for everyone...

It is More Blessed to give...

The dominant theme of the last few weeks for me is the privelege and responsibility of distributing some small scholarships for school books to a number of college students who are willing and able to be mentors to younger youth in our neighborhood. This is by far high on the fun factor. It multiplies the freedom to love when people are both honored and encouraged to love all in the same motion as long as they maintain the vision for the big picture. It is never just about me, myself, and I. Love God with heart, soul, mind, and strength... and neighbor as self is soooo much biggerrrrr!!!! Thanks to all that help make my life an extended blessing to others.

Friday Spiritual Retreat with Fuller Class & LA InnerChange Team

We arrived at the Mater Dolorosa Passionate Retreat center about 8:45am. The whole grounds visually resonated with the story of the Passion of Christ. Their Mission Statement being:

We are a Passionist Retreat Center,
Preaching the Passion of Jesus Christ. We
Seek to welcome all who wish to hear the
Message of the Passion, through our
Traditions of preaching, hospitality, and
Compassion. We resolve to place our
Focus on the Passion of Jesus Christ and
Its relevance to the lives of people today.
We also resolve to foster and promote
Spiritual growth and renewal through
Passionist retreat programs and by
Providing a peaceful environment of
Prayer and reflection.

I am usually more tuned into the resurrection than the crucifixion. I brought to the retreat the intention of facing my inner sorrow over the twenty plus deaths of people I have known. (Only 2 of these deaths are because of violence.) This retreat context was more than appropriate for processing this sorrow. The first sense I got during the retreat after the morning prayers was the sense that this was just a beginning for me and that this is going to be an important season to pay attention to lent -- the death and resurection of Jesus Christ. I also think that Mel Gipson’s Passion of Christ is going to play a large role in this journey. Being thirsty the first opportunity we got I sought and found a coffee dispenser. All while my mind was rushing to how I could pursue using this film to reach out to others. It became clear that I was facing the first of several walls in my soul to being still.

I paced around the outside of the main building. Soon I found a strange sort of comfort on the back steps that led to the main buildings cooling & heating system. There was an empty cross, worked into the masonry. I was happier with a more "Protestant" Cross. I also found comfort in the concrete steps and the white noise made by the mechanical systems. I started to pray and the call to “Be still and acknowledge God as God” was still burning in my chest. I could not be still so I got up to wander again. Arriving at the Northwest corner of the building I was reminded again of my intention by a Raven who started cawing and would not stop.

I literally retreated to the room where we were going to have the centering prayer exercise. I got myself a second and third cup of coffee. Then I finally settled down into praying my expanded version of the Jesus, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have mercy on me a sinner. Father I ask for strength, Jesus I ask for your heart, Holy Spirit I ask for power and inspiration. This focused on for about 30 minutes calmed me down to begin to be still. I was surprised by my desire to read which has been numbed out for several months began to come back to me with surprising force. Also I was glad to discover that I could read academic material. My concentration for reading has been so disrupted that I have been listening to scripture more often than reading it. I brought with me Wendy Beckett's book, "The Mystical Now Art and The Sacred". Its pages nourished my heart and mind.

I joined the optional centering prayer exercise. The image of letting any ideas, other than my prayer focused on Christ himself, flow down river like a drifting boat was freeing and liberating. Soon I began to be still and the twenty minutes set aside for this was over.

I was drawn outside and found the fifteenth station of the cross -- the empty tomb. I found comfort in this affirmation that Christ is raised for the Passionists as well as for us Protestants. Then I wandered to the station of Mary holding the dead body of Christ. It drew me. I was temporarily distracted by some coins that someone had placed in the hands of Jesus. Then it hit me. I did not get to see the body of Barbara Brown, or Dr. Loder. There were others that I did not get to say good by to. I want to grow in my capacity to acknowledge the lives that I have loved that are now gone from us. The statue proclaimed engagement. I somehow had grown detached. I am reminded that God wants to meet me in the realities that I want to distance myself from the most. I rested in this space resonating with the symbols of loss and realizing God’s kindness to me in this time. Then I noticed that a stone in the base of the statue setting was cracked and loose. I followed an impulse to touch it. Part of it fell off and landed in my hands. There I sat next to “Mary holding Jesus” while holding a piece of their statue in my hands. I am still trying to understand the power of this moment for me. All I can say is that I took a piece of that stone home and it was as if I could both embrace and accept that the body of my friend Dr. James Loder has been committed to the ground.

The results of this retreat are still in process for me. I have learned that silence can help me make the transition into academic work and study. This is a timely insight for me. I have not had such concentration for a couple years now because of some issues with Post Traumatic Stress. I will see if this is a more permanent closure to this chapter in my life. For now I can read again; if I take some time for silence. We also decided as a team to set 1 Friday morning a month for a similar time of prayer and retreat. I am looking forward to all this season of lent will offer. I am thankful for the gift of the space, time, and intentional silence.

What's been up...

Monday late afternoons at our pad, Monday Evenings at Cambria, and Wednesday late afternoons at Kathy's pad, we have toutoring for some of the youth in our neighborhhod going on. What is exciting to us is that some of the college age folks from our neighborhood are toutoring and mentoring some of the younger youth in our neighborhood.

"Each one Teach one," a saying adopted by the HipHop community was started by the famous Christain educator Frank Laubach.

This past Friday I went with the LA InnerChange team and my Christian Spirituality class to the retreat center Mater Dolorosa. We enjoyed a 6 hour silent retreat... (well actually 3 hours and then lunch and then 2 hours). The retreat center is about the passion of Christ... a good context to prepare for lent and for Mel Gipson's film
The Passion of Christ. God spoke to my heart that this lent will be another step towards understanding that "Even death rightly understood and embraced can become a form of grace" (the late Dr. James Loder). I hope to write more about this time later.

Saturday I felt compelled to stay and work while Jude went to celebrate her dad's 80th birthday with Roxy. This was a very difficult decision. There were numerous happenings that came together that confirmed that maybe I was hearing from God on this one. Jude's dad goes into surgery on Febuary 24th to have one of his kidney's removed because of cancer...

Lunch became an oportunity to gather Kathy, Miriam, and three other teens from the neighborhood for lunch. One guy who had been depressed for about a month came out of his depression. One guy who longs to belong now feels included. Afterwards we went to the public library... and the downtown LA Public library has now become a destination for us -- Cool.

Sunday I spent a significant amount of time with Miriam and Norma. Two compassionate souls that have lived the struggle of the imigrant journey so common to my neighborhood. I am glad to participate and encourage with their desire to share their faith and all that they have learned from their journey.

Monday I had a significant mentoring time with Rikkell. Then had the privelege of toutoring Chris, Tony's brother and helping them move towards knowing how to help Chris grow in his reading capacity.

Poem for the month ; ) "A jaw Psalm... to the Lord"

Hidden are your wonders
Deep within the sea
deep within the quazars
Dancing in a million snowflakes -- All of them are different.

Loving, Wrestless, Creative beauty -- are you.

I am struck in silence
So far beyound my comprehension
are your works O' Lord.

I have heard the rumour of Angels
I have heard the praises of heaven
I have been told that without your grace...
No one can see your face and live.

I long to see your face -- and live...

How long O' Lord will we foolishly imagine that this is just for us and our use.

Awaken my soul
Awaken my soul to awe
Awaken my soul to wonder

Shudder in the beauty of our Holy God
and anounce His Claim on all creation.

JAW1 '04

A Paper written by Jorge Meza for a Religion class

Jorge Meza

1-16-04

Catholic Christianity

Resurrection of the body of Jesus Christ





What do we mean by the resurrection of Christ? Jesus Christ came into this world to die as our replacement for our sins. The sinless Son of God came to give his life as a payoff for many. On that first Good Friday, Jesus was crucified. We know he died because one of the Roman soldiers pierced Jesus' side with a spear to ensure his death. Some of his disciples then buried his body in a new tomb.

While Jesus was alive, he had predicted that he would rise from the dead. He challenged his enemies: "Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days. He was speaking about his body. Jesus also told his disciples many times that he would be killed by the leaders in Jerusalem, but be raised to life on the third day. The leaders who killed Jesus were aware of this prediction that he would rise from the dead. Although they did not believe it, they wanted to ensure that it would not happen, so they set a guard around the tomb. Pilot gave the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body, and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.' 'Take a guard,' Pilate answered. 'Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.' So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.

The strategy of the chief priests and Pharisees did not succeed. Even with their efforts, Jesus rose from the dead. Jesus brought a number of people to life from the dead, including Martha's brother Lazarus, who had been dead for four days. But the resurrection of Jesus Christ was different. It was not just revival, as was the case with Lazarus, who later died again. On the third day Jesus was raised from the dead with a transformed body that was clothed with immortality and glory. His resurrection body could appear and disappear, go through material objects, and ascend to and descend from heaven.

On Easter morning some women and apostles went to Jesus' tomb expecting to find his body. But the tomb was empty, and the angel at the tomb told them, "He is not here he has risen!" Later they saw their risen Lord face to face.

Because of the miracle of Christ's resurrection, Jesus' depressed and disappointed disciples were instantly transformed. They began to preach the gospel with power. Without the resurrection, there is no Christianity. These disciples of Jesus willingly suffered for their faith. They could not produce the body of Jesus Christ and put a stop to Christianity. The Jewish believers, meanwhile, were so impressed by this miracle that they began to worship on the day of Christ's resurrection, Sunday.

My references The Bible, and the Resurrection Stories by Jerome Neyrey

I do believe in the resurrection of the body. Jesus is my savior.

My role in this was simply a trip to the library and the encouragemnet that the resurection of Christ might be a good doctrine to explore. Influence for the good is so often about just being there for others.

My Mix for this Tues. on KR

Wrestle Mix


1. This Present Darkness 2:40 Deliverance Live in the Studio
2. When I Flow 4:18 Cross Movement
3. The Hurricane 8:34 Bob Dylan
4. Track 06 3:14 KRS ONE Kristyles
5. The Trouble with Normal 3:37 Bruce Cockburn
6. Track 01 3:52 Stained
7. They All Fall Down 5:23 Grits
8. Thank You For the Cross 4:48
9. Never Give Up 3:17 KRS ONE Spiritual Minded
10. Track 03 2:26 Blackalicious Arrow
11. Track 08 2:36 Larea Raine Garretson
12. Burn Hollywood Burn 2:47 Public Enemy Fear of a Black Planet
13. Resplendent 5:02 Bill Mallonee & Vigilantes of Love Audible Sigh
14. Track 03 3:24 5 Blind Boys of Alabama
15. peacemaker 4:28 Marie Brennan Whisper to the Wild Water
16. Alienated 2:17 Rez XX
17. Mommentum 3:23 Tobby Mac
18. I'm Gonna Live the Life 2:37 Mahalia Jackson The Greatest Gospel singer In the World
19. Track 02 0:46 Scratch

Memory Fragments from the last week

I went to visit Tribe this past weekend with Christy of Drybonesdance Blog. A neat home Church that meets at Rev. Rverstraten - Mcsparran's house. At first it was a stretch for me... but in time I kind of like having a drummer lead worship...and being able to beat my own drum at the same time... The reflective sharing integrated into the sermon, communion, Lectio Davina reading of scripture, and pot-luck dinner... all this helps build quite an intimate time of fellowship. If you could reproduce the depth of leadership and commitment of the leaders quickly enough... you could have the beginnings of a new house church movement.

Class last night featured Richard Fosters book on Prayer. We also wrote our own psalm.

Today I am going with Roxy to pick up her dad from the hospital in the PM...

Yesterday I referred a friend to Chrysalis... a group that helps people become more employable... Other stressors are making it hard for my friend to stay out of the madness mix... without mentioning any names can you say a prayer.

This Monday we are stating a new initiative of getting some of our college age friends from the neighborhood to mentor younger youth in our neighborhood.

Monday One of our neighboring families dropped in for dinner. I got to share my first attempt at cooking Collard Greens. It was received with mixed reviews. Either you like them greens or you don't.

Finished listening to Genesis and Matthew on CD... I am listening to the whole Bible on CD as a way of getting a sense of the big picture.

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO "WIL" WHO JUST BECAME A CITIZEN OF THE USA

I got to witness the ceremony with over 3,000 people taking that big step at one time together... He already is teacher here in LA... but the wheels of inclusion turn slowly... I am glad and grateful that they do turn.

A Recomended resource list for folks who met Jude and I at Urbana

Urban Mission -- A Brief Bibliography from Jude & John Tiersma Watson

See Tuesday, February 03, 2004 on John's other Blog

Happy Birthday to My Dad

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Show Mix Feb. 3, 2003

This show is going to get some public air time at Wheaton College. Thanks to Darren P.

1. Zombie 5:06 Cranberries No Need To Argue
2. Track 01 3:52 Stained
3. All the Lonely People 2:38 Aretha Franklin Best of Aretha Franklin
4. Track 16 3:10 JAW Poetry
5. Track 03 2:26 Blackalicious Arrow
6. Big Brother 4:12 AD - SEG
7. Fatherless Child 5:44 Mystic Cuts for Love Scars for Freedom
8. They All Fall Down 5:23 Grits
9. Track 10 3:15 Isaiah 58
10. Track 03 3:24 5 Blind Boys of Alabama
11. Never Give Up 3:17 KRS ONE Spiritual Minded
12. He Don't Mind 4:00 Barry Taylor Love Songs for Underdogs
13. Hero 3:25 SuperChic[k] Last One Picked
14. Believe It 3:59 KRS ONE Prophets Vs. Profits
15. God Nos Llama 3:51 Zehnder Breathing
16. Track 03 4:12
17. Track 02 0:46 Scratch

One of the realities that I wrestle with daily is how the human condition presses us either to God or towards despair. The more honest and truthful we can be about life... The more amazing love, joy, forgiveness and grace can be... living out of the center of this joy is one of the most attractive witness of faith I have encountered and seek to immitate (Thank you Dr. Loder)... don't just argue "Truth"... Be a demonstration of it...

A copy post from Dry Bones.

Many discussions seem more like political battles for power than spiritual searches for truth. - Henri Nouwen

My thought to add to this... us humans tend to vote for and debate about politicians, but we tend to kill or follow prophets.

Martin Luther King's Rule of Life

I am studying Christian Spirituality at Fuller & It is Black history month. I just put out my rule of life... I thought it a joy and a source of humility to reflect on MLK's rule of life. Let me know if you develop a sense of what God might be calling you to.

MLK's Rule:

Meditate Daily on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.

Remember always that the nonviolent movement in Birmingham seeks justice and reconciliation.

Walk and talk in the manner of love, for God is love.

Pray daily to be used by God in order that all might be free.

Sacrifice personal wishes in order that all might be free.

Observe with both friend and foe the ordinary rules of courtesy.

Seek to perform regular service for others and the world.

Refrain from violence of fist, tongue, or heart.

Strive to be in good spiritual and bodily health.

Follow the directions of the movement and the captains of a demonstration.

SOUL FEAST: an invitation to the Christian Spiritual Life by Marjorie J. Thompson p.140

A note about my links.

Behind each link is a person that I have met face to face. They are their own person... a connection in a growing web of relationships. Our lives are all connected in some way. This is my part of sharing on the web.

The class I am taking on Christian Spirituality reminded me...I wrote this poem after a community devotion / Lectio Divina on Luke 7 (VS.31-35)... we covered Lectio Devina and it's historical context within the four fold method of Bible reading.

BLIND MARKET PLACE

MAKET PLACE APPROVAL
DANCE DANCE
MAKET PLACE APPROVAL
WEEP WEEP

UP DOWN
SPIN ARROUND
DANCE DANCE
WEEP WEEP

WITH ALL THIS MARKET TALK...
WHERE ARE OUR CHILDREN?

Here is what I will be spinning tommorow on KR.

Tuesday 11:00 am- 1:00 pm

I am proclaiming on KR that even while we have our agendas for what we want the world to be... or not be... God is going to bring about a Kingdom of Justice and Righteousness. We can taste a small part of it here and now as we pray, "Thy Kingdom Come Thy Will Be Done on Earth as it is in Heaven". God's Kingdom is tangible and available to anyone who will truly love God with their whole being and Love their neighbor as themselves. Getting to this reality comes through grace...

So what do you want to Experience "The Kingdom of God" or "The American Dream"???
Are they one and the same???

I will be discussing this between tracks with some special guests.

Also here is a play list of the music I will spin:

R –MIX DJ JAW
The HYPERESTHESIA SHOW

1. Big Brother 4:12 AD - SEG

2. Fatherless Child 5:44 Mystic Cuts for Love Scars for Freedom

3. Track 20 5:39 KRS ONE

4. Everything is Broken 3:15 Bob Dylan Oh Mercy

5. Disease of Conciet 3:44 Bob Dylan Oh Mercy

6. Dot Com 2:36 Larea Raine Garretson

7. All the Lonely People 2:38 Aretha Franklin Best of Aretha Franklin

8. Track 01 3:53 Avril Lavigne Let Go

9. Say a Little Prayer For You 3:36 Aretha Franklin Best of Aretha Franklin

10. Resplendent 5:02 Bill Mallonee & Vigilantes of Love Audible Sigh

11. Zombie 5:07 Cranberries Best Of

12. Track 10 4:26 Pigeon John We Are Hip Hope

13. Womanology 2:01 KRS ONE Prophets Vs. Profits

14. Never Give Up 3:17 KRS ONE Spiritual Minded

15. Track 02 5:10 Lauryn Hill Un Plugged

16. Track 03 3:24

17. Salvation 2:24 Cranberries Best Of ...

18. I'm Gonna Live the Life 2:37 Mahalia Jackson The Greatest Gospel singer In the World

Wisdom from a friend in Berkeley that works with Kids.

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Didn't Jesus say something like this???

Dianna Hayes just finished visiting LA

Dianna Hayes is very generous with her words and surprised by the idea of her speaking directly on the net. She had a great visit and saw the beggings of a new chapter for us... a Chapter where we are coaching some of the local young adults who are in college... while they become Mentors for some of the younger youth. This is a dream we have had and it has been a long journey to get to this point.

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My ramblings about droping Dianna off at LAX. Thank you for your encouragement for what I am doing with the arts.

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Homework due today for my Spirituality Class at Fuller

John Tiersma Watson Jaw1 “Rule of Life” 1/21/04
SP 508 Spiritual Disciplines

I was at first surprised about how difficult this exercise is for me. To begin I had to come to terms with why this was so. It is forcing me to realize that I have been avoiding some key disciplines that would force me to look at the pain in my heart. Upon reflection I found it interesting in the chart by Benedict Groeschel that you handed out in class that pain plays an important role in spiritual development. “Even Jesus learned obedience by what he suffered”. To write this I had to get back in touch with my pain.

Why I ache inside is easy enough to point at. Starting back in July of 2001 a friend of ours, Jose Barajas, was gunned down in our neighborhood. He was 10 weeks from graduating from Collins College of art and design. He was one of the founding members of an artist guild I help start called LA Street Productions. This event triggered some issues inside of me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I still on and off have trouble with the kind of concentration necessary for reading. I have overcome most of the struggle I was having about writing through starting an online journal :)
Since July of 2001 I have known over 20 other people who have died. Some have died suddenly, others from diseases, and a few from old age. The death since Jose’s passing that I struggle the most with is the sudden death of my friend and mentor Dr. James Loder. It is also still strange to me that my grandmother’s death about a year ago has been a large source of grace for me. I count myself fortunate to be part of an interdenominational missionary order among the poor called InnerChange:. Without this Spiritual Fellowship, and the support they have given me, I would be much worse off than I am now.

I have up to this point preferred the active work of mission to the exploring of the devotional life. (Even in prayer I have preferred intercession more than meditation or listening prayer.) Thankfully, others who have seen my need to root my soul in God, continue to encourage me surround me. It is because of their encouragement, in part, that I am taking this class at Fuller on Spiritual Disciplines.

I have also witnessed how my suffering has made it easier to understand many of my neighbors and the pain in their personal stories. I am grateful to be part of an intentional community that is not a stranger to suffering and loss, but rather we are a community of faith that makes friendship and solidarity with the poor a priority (Ecclesiastes 4, Isaiah 58, Matthew 25).

Here is my current rule of life. It is striking to me that I have never bothered to write it down until now.

I. Frequently
A prayer of the heart. This is a modified version of the “Jesus Prayer” taught to me by Mrs. Arlene Loder. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on me a sinner. Father I ask for Strength… Jesus I ask for your heart… Holy Spirit I ask for Power and Inspiration….”
To often quote and reflect on the fact that, “The quality and content of our lives is built on the quality and content of our relationships with God, ourselves, one another, and our environments”(a jaw1 proverb).
Reflecting on particular passages of scripture that I believe God has called me to make central to my life: II Peter 1:3-11, Isaiah 58, Ephesians 3:14-2.

II. Daily
Walking 1 or more miles a day (First Opportunity of the morning)
Listening to the Bible on CD About 5 Chapters a day . (Sometimes in my CD player while I walk) I have learned that I am an oral learner. I am joining a group in my church that has covenanted together to read the whole Bible this year.
Journaling & Prayer about the highs and lows of a given day or days. The forms here will vary (see weekly)
Spiritual Reading in Luke – this is a Lectio reading that is done by each member of the LA InnerChange team whenever we have first year apprentices. This I will often do at the end of the day.
Praying over the next calendar day noting anything that needs attention.
Sleep Mon.-Thurs. (in bed by 10:30 and lights out by 11:00). This is important to counteract my tendency to slip into a hyper-vigilant way of being that is connected to PTSD.

II. Weekly
Tuesday, InnerChange Intercessory prayer 8:00-9:00 AM
Wednesday, Class for continuing study. 6:30-9:00 PM
Thursday, Community Breakfast & Luke devotions – a community Lectio Divina reading covering the part of Luke we read throughout the week. 8:00-10:15 AM
Sunday, Worship once or twice depending on whether I bring a friend from the neighborhood to church with me for one of these services.
Journaling on line “Blogging” at least weekly www.jawpoetry.blogspot.com
Journaling in a private journal
Journaling in a public scrapbook, which includes the scraps that I have collected that week that I want to keep.
Guided prayer or a Communion service with my current preference being an Online prayer guide.

III. Monthly
Meeting with a mentor
Visiting a Church in the Larger LA Area
“Holy Wandering”, or Pilgrimage

IV. Quarterly
Retreats for prayer, study and reflection

V. As Needed
Creating and/or paying attention to Poetry, Collage, Art, Street Art (especially Graffiti Art)/Folk Art/Outsider Art/performance Art and Photography

End Notes: Simply assessing where I currently stand has been a good exercise for me. The Items in italics I am going to pay special attention to during the class. My need to press more inward is not yet reflected in this document except that I will schedule a retreat this quarter and use some of the retreat time to reflect on this fact. Scheduling in time for study, hospitality, and celebration is also missing and finding ways to plan ahead may help in making sure that these vital realities are not neglected. I have used as an excuse up to this point that I have to stay flexible and available to those in my neighborhood who are not as time oriented as I am. In fact I have become the most event-oriented person in our Missional community. How I set time aside for the items that are not a daily routine is another area of needed growth.

Spinning on Kill Radio and musing fragments about the week

Today I played and discussed my favorite Online Prayer Guide. I used Marie Brennan to fill in the Gaps between the different steps. Then I closed out the show by listening to The 5 Blind Boys of Alabama. I just can't get enough of these guys and thier Soulish Gospel Blues.

I continue to celebrate that a friend of mine has gotten off Parole and came to church with me at the invitation of another friend. While I was not impressed with the sermon at Vision Christian Fellowship... something really touched my friends heart. I was impressed with the genuine human friendliness of the people. I was also told by others that the teaching of their Sr. Pastor is exceptional.

Fred, a neighbor and friend invited me Sat. to come over and watch a movie The Underworld. It was a fun time of hanging and talking. The movie lends itself to talk about the power and damage of betrayal. The goth science fiction Matrix action film vibeis fun and it has a story line that it stays true to... along with this it has some important themes that we need to talk about in culture. There is no true "Good" or "Evil" in this film. Just the circumstances of Vampires and Werewolves being at endless war with each other for as long as people could remember. It is where (world view wise) and how some of my friends FEEL about their lives. To argue with this misses hearing them... and what is needed is empathy for the real pain that they feel... and not plattitudes. Fun flick but not for the faint at heart... predictable at parts if you have watched enough of this vibe of movies.

Is an Exodus our Only Option?

A friend came over yesterday evening. He has established a better life for himself. He is now working and renting an apartment in a "safer" neighborhood. We got into a heated discussion. We both have strong personalities. He thinks that, just as for himself and other members of his family that the only hope for those here in this neighborhood is to move out. At best a sort of Exodus out of bondage "out of the rat hole" if you will.

I tried to explain that we hope that there could be established a growing real hope for those in the neighborhood. That there are some that will for many different reasons either not be able to leave or want to leave.

He came back at me with the fact that he hasn't seen it in the 10 years we have lived here. That I have been here for 10 years and that all of our friends who Jude and I have helped that are doing well have moved out of this immediate neighborhood. I tried to point to the Cambria building on Union... and We both acknowledged that this was just the tip of the iceberg for so many and that it is still surrounded by some tuff street realities... and plus for my friend it is not actually directly in this neighborhood.

This is the first layer of challenge... Vision... and when the best of a neighborhood gets a Vision for a better life it sees it happening somewhere else. Not here. There is a deep unbelief that things could be better here.

There is a tension between the Biblical motif’s of Exodus, Wandering in the Wilderness, and A New Jerusalem. I have seen all of these lived out within various the church communities. I have to continue to be faithful to my call. I want to be a sign of the coming kingdom here even as my friend passionately seeks to aid himself and others by establishing an Exodus from here.

We can't force those with inner resources to spend those resources here. I wish it were easier to inspire a hope that was stronger than the struggle here. I still work to see this while I bless those who have chosen to work out their life somewhere else.

I am thankful for the conversation and the coffee... and the friendship that remains. I hope we continue to stretch each other's thinking.

JAW1

Not a Surprise to me ; ) n Bumping at KR

I have always known that nothing is worth sacrificing one's call and purpose in life. "Good Religion" leads to this Faith expressing itself through love -- II Peter 1:3-11; Real Purpose in life. Now a study says it is a "good" way to live. A Blessed Life starts with Faith.

Don't substitue anything except the truth that truly burns in and through your soul. Jesus wants us to all be fruit inspectors starting with ourselves.

Today I am spinning The Cross Movement and Rick Wakeman. Two different vibes. Rythm and soul that points to God and art for the beauty and expierence of art itself. The bottom line is that I believe that our outragous capacity to dream and connect with the incredible -- Even God -- is not accidental. Wake up dreamer!!!

Fragments from the last couple days

Friday night LA Street Production had it's first monthly meeting. We among other things decided to give $100.00 to a teacher who has been influential in some of our lives to help her buy more art supplies for other students. We also had two visitors who might join the group. Chris (Wil's brother in-law who is looking for a group of men to grow with as a person), and Nate (Rikkell's freind from Mosaic... who is interested in animation and has just been accepted into an art school). We all acknowledged that this last year was a tough year for us and expressed our grattitude for the friendships in the group through it all. We have also begun planning for the year 2004

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!!!

Friday night picked Rikkell up at the airport... and went with her and Nate to 24 hour Toffu House (Think Denny's except that all the food is Korean). Good food and good fellowship. All our apprentices are back in the mix from the holidays...

Saturday was a weird day. It started out with a large cockroach hanging on to our shower head being caught by a circle of water streaming out... The day ended with our block being taped off by the police for a reason that none of the neighbors seem to know. The police set up a temporary road block and stood around with semi-automatic weapons...this tends to make one not feel so comfortable and yet is so unbelievable that it feels like a movie set -- so all the neighbors come out to talk and watch. One poor drunk man tried to drive slowly through the barricade. He just was too drunk to get the fact that he couldn't go this way...and so he was arrested infront of our watching neighborhood. Nothing was normal about Saturday.

Sunday, Rikkell and Norma came to church with me. Marlene needed a ride after church. This led to the kind of traffic that you only find in LA where you can have traffic jams at any time of day almost anywhere. We took Norma home and picked up Rikkell's Bearded Dragon. (The kids in the neighborhood love this little beast.)

Sunday after church I hung out with two of the youth for a few hours. One of them is going to move to go live with his dad... which I think will be a good thing for him. He was on the edge of the local gang and this might keep him from choosing that path. He likes his dad and wants to be a cook like his dad... I am glad that he will be going to live with his role model... every young man needs a father.

Now it is Monday morning... and I am going to work on catching up on my Bible reading... I plan to read through the Bible in about a year -- our church has set up a web based network to encourage us to do this... Then I plan to spend some time praying...and so it goes... I have my first scheuled meeting at lunch time... and so it goes.

Domestic Violence Presentation -- my gut response

Our friend Cindy Speakman gave a talk at the monthly meeting for Christian's for Biblical Equality about Domestic Violence. She did a great job and recomended this web site: PeaceandSafety.com. She also lead us into a moving reflection on Psalm 55:4-8, 12-14, 20-21... noting that these verses capture some of the most common feelings about abuse.

The statistcis alone made me ever so greatful for the Old Testament and the Bible.

Throughout the Bible is a constant willingness to expose the darkest tendencies of human nature. I wish we would dare to be this honest about ourselves and our collective histories. We who are pastors need to draw on the Biblical Naratives to invite our communities to wrestle with the twisted realities in and around us. We won't build Biblical fellowships with out this kind of honesty (I John 1). The Bible tlaks about rape, violence, murder, betrayal, deception, etc. in the most unflattering terms. It does not hesitate to expose human brokeness in even the most prominent leaders. It also offers a vision for redemption and transformation... and it encourages a lifestyle of accountability.

They say that history is written by those in power to make those in power look good. This is not what the Biblical narrative gives us.

Why do I connect the reality of domestic violence with this kind of truth telling??? Because unless the silence is broken the cycles of denial and pain continue. Is there a prophet in the house and are we willing not to kill our prophets???

A shout out!!!

Happy Birthday to LAURA!!!

Laura and Boy1 came by to visit me early this afternoon. We caught up a bit. Had lemon tea together. I gave Boy1 two copies of my internet radio shows... one on the 5 Blind Boys of Alabama, and the other on Mahalia Jackson, considered by some to be, "The Greatest Gospel Singer of All time".

Boy1 wants me to read Dantes Inferno. It is a sobering dark truth that judgement is God's right and that wrath can and will be poured out... but I am not sure that Dante has an accurate vision for what that will look like. Boy likes Dante as a poet who is thick with rich language. I wish others in the neighborhood had your passions and sensibilities.

What's been Up

I had the privelege of Representing CRM / InnerChange at Urbana '03. My responsibility was to lead a collective mural project encouraging students to reflect on and express what God was calling the to "Release" to God, or what God was calling them to "Embrace". The effect was kinda like visual Jazz... as students began to dare to bare their soul through art... this created an atmosphere of hospitality at our both... and it became a place not just to come to but to visit and bring friends to...

Yesterday I gave my first ever power point presentation describing my role on the recruiting team. We really felt called of God to be pastors available to serve and pray with students rather than "recruiters". God blessed us anyway with over 200 solid contacts to follow up on. Pray for us... there is almost no context where we are invloved that the need for more partners in ministry is not felt.

Today I am signing up for a class at Fuller Seminary on the Spiritual Disciplines. It requires going on a full day silent retreat... a good challenge for the extrovert that I am.

Spinning on my Radio Show

Our friend Kathy gave us THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA for Christmas. Thanks!!! I would have never bought the album myself... because of the groups name... It sounds patronizing... but they is southern soul Gospel Blues at its best. Their album Spirit of the Century has been steeming up our CD player for the last 2 weeks and encouraging my soul.

Missing person Report from the Erno-Pearces

Jim,Julianna, Lorriann and her father were visiting her brother's over the Christmas holidays in San Luis Obispo California (Central Coast). Lorriann's father Vern Erno, had gone to a coffee shop with her brother. They stopped at a gas station when Vern disappeared. Vern is 82 and is in good health, except that he has Alzheimers. He has been missing for 6 days, the police and the community are looking for him. Jim is still down in San. Luis Obispo helping to look for Vern. Please pray that Vern will be found soon and that the Lord will protect him.

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Jim and Lorriann were part of our work in LA before they went out to serve in Ecuador. We are still close friends. Currently they live in Washington State.

flying back to LA today.

Urbana was incredible.

A big shout out to Chris and Nita for their hospitality and taking care of us in IL and IN.

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Chris and Jude both had a hand in the Book God so Loved the City. Jude got to be a seminar speaker at Urbana and Chris and Nita were invited as guests. We all want to see a real deep relational love be rooted in God and God's love in all of what we might call mission -- Ephesians 3:14-21.

Happy New years to everyone.

"The Content and Quality of our lives is built on the Content and Quality of our Relationships with God, Ourselves, One Another, and the Environment."